How To Win Over The Ladies

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the general male population is when it comes to women. Even in my younger and more naive days, I was never such an imbecile. Let me give you an example…

On my last birthday, I went out for some drinks with friends. I had a couple of people lined up to drive me home, but one of the women who worked there insisted on being my designated driver. So of course I granted her request and sent all my friends home. Near the end of the night before we left, there was a guy orbiting her. Apparently, he was insisting that she loved him and they were going to spend the night together. As she drove me home, this guy followed her all the way to my house. I was absolutely blown away that any guy would have the audacity to follow a woman like this. My designated driver told me that this was a somewhat regular occurrence in her life. After she dropped me off, the orbiter then followed her all the way across the city back to her house. He apparently came back the next day and sat outside her house in his car. She eventually called the police on him.

There’s enough media exposure about the creepy behaviours of men to inform them that this is not attractive behaviour, but many men still do it. The same goes with sending dick pics through online dating sites.

So why was this bar worker so interested in spending time with me as opposed to the stalker guy? Well, let’s boil it all down. These are all things that make women attracted to a man:

Confidence:
Women absolutely love confident men. If you tell her your sob stories about how mean your ex-girlfriend was to you, you’re not going to win her over. Pity does NOT equal attraction.

To show confidence, you need to approach her without intimidation, but with the simple goal of communicating something interesting. Confident people can strike up conversations with strangers, women included. Confident men also have no problem taking the lead. Ever go out to eat with a woman? They’re terrible decision makers. They tend to go with whatever their emotions are telling them, but their emotions don’t fluctuate quickly enough to make efficient decisions on what to eat from a restaurant menu. If she’s having trouble, kindly get some options from her and pick something for her. YES, CHOOSE WHAT SHE’S EATING. You’re doing the both of you a favour by not wasting time and relieving her of decision making. This is just one example of taking the lead.

Here’s another one… When setting up dates, don’t ask her what she wants to do. You’ll end up going back and forth forever trying to figure out an activity. Think of something to do and take her. If she comes up with an idea for something to do, she’ll let you know. Take her suggestion when she has one.

Positive Attitude: This goes hand-in-hand with confidence. If you view most things in a positive light, you’re going to be enjoyable to be around, and people will gravitate toward you. Ever be around someone who’s always whining or complaining about something? It’s not enjoyable, and it won’t put YOU in a good mood. Personalities are infectious. If you want the other person to be positive toward you, then you must be positive yourself. This doesn’t just go for your interactions with women, it goes for your interactions with EVERYBODY.

Enthusiasm: ALWAYS be just a bit more enthusiastic than her about things. Make her feel like you’re confident and passionate about things.

Kinesthetics: Don’t be afraid to touch her! No, I don’t mean grab her breasts you fucking pig. Acceptable touch is patting her on the shoulder, picking things out of her hair, batting her dangly earrings, putting your hand in the middle of her back to lead her through a doorway, and pretty much anything that isn’t sexual. Do things that you wouldn’t really have a problem doing to a male friend. Escalation to a sexual level (hand holding, kissing) comes after she’s attracted to you.

Humour/Flirting: You need to be playful in order to gain her interest. Treat her like your bratty sister. Throw small paper balls at her. Pinch her cheek and tell her how cute she is in baby talk. Also, don’t forget to pick on yourself a bit. Making jokes about yourself is not only humorous, it’s also extremely confident.

All of this stuff takes practice if you’re not used to it. You NEED to put yourself outside your comfort zone in order to get good at it.

Now, let’s focus on the things you SHOULDN’T do…

First of all, I need to emphasize that men and women are attracted to very different things. Men are primarily attracted to the physical aspects of a woman. Women are primarily attracted to things that cause them emotional fluctuation. Sometimes a man’s looks can trigger it, but more often than not, it will be the man’s personality that will cause her emotions to fluctuate. Thankfully you can train your personality to become more attractive. Women who are born with the “ugly” gene have to work hard to attract men.

So all the things you find attractive about women (their nude sexy parts and outright honesty about engaging in sexual behaviour) are NOT going to have the same effect when you use it on them. Showing them your peener and asking them to fuck is going to get you slapped with a sexual harassment charge.

Here’s some more stuff:

Buying Her Too Much Shit: Flowers, meals, alcohol, candy, jewellery, lingerie, paying their bills, buying things they see in a store, etc, etc, etc. They don’t need all that shit. Buying them all this crap does NOT create attraction. It causes spoilage. What happens when you give a child everything they want? The child starts EXPECTING to get everything they ask for. When that happens, there’s no more excitement when you give them something. Instead, you become a genie who is only called upon when something is needed. The same goes for women. She should be calling upon you because you bring her genuine pleasure with your PERSONALITY.

Worshipping Her: She is not a goddess. She does not hold the key to your heart. She is not the reason for you to live. You should be building your foundation of happiness upon your own interests, goals, and desires. If you build your foundation of happiness upon a woman, your entire life is going to come crashing down if she removes herself from your life. You DO NOT want that. Quit putting her on a pedestal. She’s not a beautiful, precious, breakable gem. She’s only a female human. Treat her as such.

Pestering Her: Bombarding her with text messages and voice mails will piss her off. Repeatedly asking her out is going to annoy her. If she said NO, she means it. If she changes her mind, she’ll let you know. Desperation is NOT an attractive quality to possess.

Also, when you ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing”, you know damn well there’s something wrong. Pestering her to tell you what’s wrong is just going to piss her off. Leaving her alone until she’s ready to tell you will have better results. Of course you’re wondering what the hell is going on in that brain of hers, but annoying her when she’s in a negative state of emotion is just going to keep her there. Women don’t stay in their high levels of emotion for long. Just wait it out until she levels out.

Boring Sex: She isn’t enjoying sex when you primarily focus on getting yourself off. She is not going to simply enjoy the fact that your dick is inside her. For men, sex is the act of repeated penetration until ejaculation. For women, sex is the build up, the anticipation, the flirting, the kissing, the removal of clothing, the atmosphere, the foreplay, the penetration, the orgasm, and the cuddling afterwards. In other words, the man enjoys the highlight while a woman enjoys the entire movie. If you want her to be sexually satisfied (resulting in more sex for you), you need to give her the full adventure and story. Another thing you need to remember is women don’t want the same story every time. They want things to be different sometimes. They want different positions, different locations, different methods of approaching orgasm, fast, slow, hard, soft, and sometimes all of the above. But sometimes they like to hear the same story twice because you almost NEVER do that.

Too Much Romance: A relationship is much like a meal. You have to have substance in order for it to be enjoyable. Romantic gestures are only a spice to make your relationship more pleasing. Women don’t like their relationship to be a plate full of salt and pepper. Keep the romance spontaneous, but infrequent.

These are the basic guidelines to attract a woman and KEEP them attracted. There are lot of little things you can do to make everything more effective, but these are the major factors that will make her decide if she’s into you or not.

So here’s the end tale of the designated driver and the orbiter…. The orbiter who stalked my female friend displayed a huge amount of desperation. Unlike him, I naturally and subconsciously abide by everything I’ve listed above and she naturally gravitates toward me. When you can do all this stuff without even trying, getting dates becomes extremely easy. You end up having women fall into your lap without even trying.

With regards to this particular woman, I’ve placed her on the backburner because she currently has a boyfriend. In order to seduce her, I need to demonstrate a higher value than her boyfriend (which I’ve been consistently working at). She’s already shared some of her issues with him, one being the fact that he’s too terrified of offending her in the bedroom. Again, women want adventure in the bedroom as well as emotional fluctuation. You cannot be afraid of offending her when trying to please her sexually. If you happen to spank her ass too hard, she’ll get over it. If anything, she probably secretly enjoyed it because she didn’t expect it.

Men, if you decide to achieve the women of your dreams, you need to fix yourself up. You need to become more interesting and less desperate. Work at it. Become better. Become more attractive. Women want real men, not feminized knock-offs masquerading as men. Embrace your masculinity, enhance your best qualities, and surround them with other attractive personality traits. You WILL get results.

Goodbye To My One-Itis (2015 edition)

Before I post my next entry on what men should and shouldn’t do to attract a woman, I’ve decided to get a bit personal. I have an issue that needs to be taken care of, and I’m going to do it here. I have one-itis for an ex-girlfriend. It’s been haunting me for well over a year, burdening me down, using up my emotional energy, and holding me back from progressing with my romantic life. (It however hasn’t held back my sex life)

Although I’ve stated that men are primarily attracted to women in their immediate vicinity, the thoughts and feelings for an ex can linger on well past their welcome. We’re all human, we all have emotions, and we all enjoy pair-bonding. It’s only natural for things to hurt for a while after a relationship ends. I’ve been the victim of this, and I have reserved tonight to get her out of my system and move on with my life. I’m currently going through a life phase where I’m tying up loose ends, and this is one that I need to get taken care of.

So what am I going to do? I’m going to write her a letter. I’m not going to send it to her, but I need to give a speech to the memory of her, and conclude this chapter of my life for good. Sending it to her is pointless since we’ve been without contact for a long time, and breaking contact has the potential to drag out the memories, the feelings, and postpone the ultimate ending. I’ve told myself that she is no longer worth my energy. If she was worth the energy, she would have returned by now.

After I’ve posted this, I’m going to pour myself a glass of cognac, play a song that reminds me of her, look at her picture one last time, and then abandon it all.

Here’s my letter…

============================================================

To my dear former companion,

I’ve been thinking of you consistently since you ended the relationship. It’s been occupying my mind heavily and I’ve grown tired of missing you. I’ve grown tired of waiting for the possibility that you’ll contact me again, just like almost all of my ex-girlfriends have done at some point. The problem I have is that we were actually a good match for each other. I’ve never felt so connected emotionally, intuitively, mentally, physically, and sexually to anybody in my life. It’s difficult to let go of such a deep level of connectivity, one that has deeply rooted itself in my brain over such a lengthy span of time.

But here we are today. The flourishing tree has been cut down and discarded. The roots have been left behind, absorbing energy to feed a now lost purpose. It is now time for me to uproot the remainder of my memories of you, throw them aside to be forgotten, and allow nature to rot them out of existence.

You did contact me a couple of times after we had split up. I’m not sure of your purpose, but I did not respond. I was not in the right frame of mind to deal with you. I had mixed emotions about you. I was missing you, sad about the loss of you, and down right fucking angry at you for what you’ve done. I firmly believed that you deserved the consequence of your actions; to wander into the wilderness of boring men, desperate sexual perverts, and the complete absence of a real man within miles of your current position.

While we were together, I made the best of efforts to provide you with the man you required; one that holds enough confidence for the both of us, one that would never bore you, one that would give you great sexual pleasure, and one that was worth missing while absent. I did not shower you with gifts and compliments, but showered you with what your womanly needs asked for. Few men today hold that kind of commitment, and you were very lucky to experience it. However, due to circumstances beyond my control, you decided to eliminate what is likely to be the greatest pair-bonding experience you will ever have. A man who knows how to fulfil the true needs of a woman without the typical side effects of a flawed personality is a gem. I’m certain someone will truly appreciate what you’ve tossed away. After I’m finished writing this letter, I will certainly be placing myself in the path of many women who will fiercely fight each other for your discarded gem.

You had your own flaws, but I always looked past them. You didn’t have a flaw large enough to distract me from all the good I saw in you. You had a stellar sense of humour, a genuine kindness in your soul, the embodiment of a feminine creature, a killer smile, a tender touch, and a body I could caress, stroke, and enjoy for weeks at a time. We had an incredible mutual attraction: a woman seeing a masculine creature, a man seeing a feminine creature, and a common interest in things of this world that we could discuss until our brains would force us to sleep.

What a shame. What a shame to throw it away. What a shame to kill the growth. What a shame to give in to what others though of us; others who had absolutely no business to judge when they couldn’t keep their own shit together. But you’re the one who gave in. My ideal mate would not have given in. My ideal mate would have stuck by me during difficult times and give back just a little bit of the confidence and support which I had always consistently given to them.

You failed that part. You are not my ideal mate. You are no longer worthy of my energy, my attention, my thoughts, my dedication, my love, nor my ability to fulfil your needs. You fucked up, and I only hope that you can cope with losing the strong, loving and dedicated man who would have never given up on you.

Sending my heartfelt goodbye through the mail without a return address,

Desdinova Superstar.

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”
― Sylvia Plath

Getting Back The Man You Love

Here’s one for the ladies!

In my last post, I gave an example of what a low quality woman looks like. Now, I’m going to go into detail on the things a woman needs to do to become high quality. Yes, I’m going to piss off the female readership (don’t worry, I’ll be picking on the guys in the next entry). I’m also going to be tying my high score theory into this post. If you missed it, you can read a bit about it here. In short, it’s my theory that women in their mid-20s (or older) have already met their soulmate, and unless they get him back, there is a high probability that they will lead a lonely, unfulfilling life.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight. I’m not a woman, therefore I’m not going to be babbling on about a bunch of quick fixes that you can do to win back the man of your dreams. I’m going to be laying out some 100% no-bullshit things you NEED to accomplish to get your soulmate back. If you genuinely want him back, you’ll have to put genuine effort into making it happen.

The first step in our mission is finding out the circumstances of when and how you broke up. We’ll cover the “why” a little bit later.

How Long Were You Together?

If you were with the guy for an insignificant amount of time, say less than 8 months, then it’s not very likely that you’re going to win him back. You just didn’t have enough time to make a good impression on him and he’s likely moved on and forgotten about you. If this is the case, then you may as well quit reading this article now.

For those who were with the man of their desires for 8 months or more, keep reading.

Who Ended The Relationship?

If HE was the one who ended the relationship, then there’s probably something he didn’t like about you. Women need to compete against other women to keep their man interested, especially if the duration of the relationship hasn’t endured for two years or more. When it has lasted longer than two years, then there’s some significant investment and “comfort”. The decision to start over from scratch after two years is not one to be taken lightly.

If he was the one who ended the relationship, then you’re going to have to make some drastic improvements upon yourself, but the likeliness of you getting him back is going to be significantly lower than that for a woman who ended the relationship. I encourage you to keep reading and take the advice, but don’t get your hopes up on getting “the one” back. On the plus side, you will end up in a much better position to get a NEW, high-quality man. (This also applies to the under-8-months group, for those who are still reading.)

Now if YOU were the one who ended the relationship, I’m going to tell you exactly what you did. You broke his heart, you fucking bitch. And now you want him back? Time to work your ass off to recover from your mistake.

The biggest lesson you’re going to learn here is NEVER let go of a high quality man. There aren’t very many out there to be had.

Soulmates, The One, etc

I want to cover this topic a bit before we continue. If you’re reading this, then you probably consider the man in question to be the right one for you. He’s not perfect, but he’s better than all the other crap you’ve been putting up with. Am I not right?

This guy is going to be stuck in your head for the rest of your life. If you don’t end up with him and instead settle for someone who’s sorta good enough, you’re still going to think about this guy long after you’ve married, had kids, and grown old… and that’s even if you get to that point. There’s a good chance you’re going to wander around, lost, and constantly looking for a replacement for your soulmate for years upon years. You will never find him. Trying to re-kindle an old flame is much more preferable than being alone for the rest of your life, is it not? Then you’ve made a wise choice by considering getting him back.

Here’s something you need to know… Men don’t have soulmates that they obsess over. Men are most interested in the women who are in their current time and vicinity. You are currently not there, so he’s not thinking about you. You have to put yourself in his current time and vicinity to get his interest back. More on that in a bit…

His Opinion of You

Whether you like it or not, the thought of you or even being in his vicinity will raise a red flag for him. You ended the relationship. You fucked it all up. You flushed it all down the toilet. Now you need to make up for it. You need to get HIM to burn that red flag, and it’s going to take a long time. So be prepared for him to be resistant to your advances. Even if you DO end up back with him, that red flag is still going to be there. It’s your job to get him to set it on fire. More on that later too…

What He Liked About You

Think back to the time the two of you met. Think about how he looked at you, how he touched you, how he smiled at you. Wasn’t that just the best? Of course it was. You miss that, don’t you? You were able to conjure up a lot of interest in him, just from the way you were at that point. So now, we need to focus on what you had going for you.

Age:
This one’s a write-off. You can’t get this one back. Sorry. You’ll have to make up for it in other ways.

Weight:
Think about how much you weighed when you met him. Were you a bit overweight? He didn’t fucking care. He liked the way you looked. If you had a little plumpness to your ass, he liked that too.

How much more do you weight now? Well, you need to lose it. You need to at LEAST get back to the size you were when he met you. Men are highly stimulated by physical appearance, so this is your number one priority. Your main goal is to get back to the weight you were when he met you. You get bonus points if you surpass it and get into BETTER shape. (Side note: there are a few women out there who look better with a bit of extra weight on them. They’re in the minority, but they DO exist.)

Losing weight is not difficult once you figure out what works for you. Here’s a mini-guideline:

How to eat: Eating less will help you shed the weight. Eating less when you’re not using much energy will help you succeed. If you have a sit down job, you SHOULD eat less. Take green vegetables with you to eat at work. A thick vegetable juice (such as tomato juice) will help relieve hunger.

Foods to eliminate or avoid: Bread (especially white), Potatoes, White Rice, Junk Food

Exercise: 10-20 minutes cardio, minimum every two days.

Yes, this is how simple it really is! Really! I went from being a fat fuck to being thin & sexy just by following the above tips.

Other stuff: Once your body adapts to eating less, the hunger will bother you much less. When you feel hunger coming on, eat a small healthy snack. You will wean your body off the need to having a full stomach all the time.

If this is your first time losing weight, you’ll need to experiment with what works. Give yourself a week to try something. If it doesn’t work, you need to change things up a bit. Keep doing this week by week until you find something that works. Shedding weight quickly is NOT a sign that you will gain it back quickly. You only gain it back if you go back to your old habits. In other words, continue to avoid the bad foods listed above to maintain your weight.

The most important part of all is you need to PERSIST. Use the scale to measure your success instead of using it to focus on where you’re stuck. The scale will tell you when you’re on the right track.

Now, if you’re one of the ones who’s already decided to get yourself into shape, chances are you look better than you did when you met Mr. Right. Good for you! You get the gold Desdinova Superstar of approval.

Clothing:
I understand that clothing fashions evolve over time, so I don’t expect you to be wearing the styles back when you met him. However, you can enhance your appearance with what you choose to wear. This is where you can make up for your age. Choose something a bit on the youthful side, and something feminine. Wear things that are colourful as opposed to wearing all black. You can enhance all of this with a sweet-smelling perfume. Men absolutely LOVE feminine things, but they don’t want to wear these things themselves. They want their women to be their feminine thing. What you want to give him is a piece of cute candy.

Examples of cute candy:

(In searching for these images, I realized that Asian women have a much better sense of style than North American women)

As for makeup and hair colour, whatever you were doing at the time you were with him will work just fine (unless it was extremely over-the-top)

Note: It is important that you focus on clothing AFTER you lose weight.

Tattoos:
Did you seriously have to fucking get a tattoo? Getting tattoos are as permanent and as degrading as your ever-increasing age. You want to MAINTAIN your attractiveness, not sabotage it. If you have the opportunity and money to get your tattoo removed, then I highly suggest you do that. Scars are mildly better than tattoos. Scars are evidence of lessons learned.

If removing the tattoo isn’t an option, you’re just going to have to hope that he doesn’t find it disgustingly ugly and unfeminine. I personally find ALL tattoos on women disgusting and unfeminine.

Habits/Addictions:
High quality men like their women to be clean from money-eating, odour-inducing, personality-altering habits. If you had some of the following habits at the time you met him, then eliminating them will make you BETTER than when you initially met him.

Alcohol: Having the occasional social drink is passable. Avoiding alcohol altogether is preferable. If you drink daily, weekly, or spend a significant amount of time intoxicated, you should be contacting your nearest AlAnon group. They will help you quit drinking. Once you’re clean, you’ve taken on an improvement.

Smoking: Expensive, stinky, and annoying. You can’t do a continuous activity with your soulmate because you need to stop every 30 minutes for a damn cigarette. My recommendation is to get the book Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Smoking. If you take it seriously, it works. I speak as a successful ex-smoker.

Drugs: This has the same negative aspects as smoking and alcohol combined. Remember, nicotine and alcohol can be very addictive drugs. And no, this isn’t an “all drugs except weed” category. Get rid of the weed too. It costs money, it’s illegal, and it alters the natural, beautiful personality you have.

Orbiters/Friends:
You need to dump all your male friends. No matter what you’ve been told, male friends don’t carry less drama. They actually CREATE more drama, especially when you’re in a relationship. Your soulmate doesn’t need to deal with other men who want to fuck you (and yes, ALL those male friends want to fuck you). Your man’s job is to protect you as his investment. If you make yourself as an unvaluable investment by lacing it with unnecessary obstacles such as male friends, he’s going to deem you as a pain in the ass. So cut contact with ALL your male friends.

As for your female friends, get rid of the bad influences. If you have drinking buddies, stoner buddies, and bar stars as friends, then you need to cut them out of your life. If your female friends are the ones who pushed you to break up with your soulmate, then they aren’t looking out for your true happiness and best interests. Your soulmate isn’t supposed to be perfect, he’s supposed to stimulate your imagination, fantasy, and emotions. Your girlfriends shouldn’t be getting in the way of that.

Personality:
Remember how sweet and nice you were when you met him? Do that. If you decided that you’re going to become a tough biker bitch who won’t take shit from men, then you’re an unattractive feminist. Give up on the feminism because men don’t find it attractive. Embrace your natural feminine attributes and desires. That’s how nature created you, and that’s what nature intended for men to find attractive.

Now that you’re done improving yourself to the point where he’s going to find you as attractive as the day he met you, it’s time to track that fucker down…

Facebook:
This is the easiest way to find him. Message him, add him, whatever. If he’s blocked you by some chance, then create a new account. If he has his stuff displayed publicly, then don’t add him but watch for opportunities to go out and meet him in a public place. If his stuff isn’t public, make your account fake and add him so you can monitor what he posts.

His old hangouts:
Go to them, ask around, or become a regular. He’s likely to show up.

His hobbies:
Go to the places where you’d likely be able to find him based on his interests. You may eventually run into him.

If you DO encounter him in public, approach him. Remember, you need to be in his current time and vicinity. Chat with him and compliment him. Do a number exchange when he’s done. (Don’t rely on him to initiate contact ESPECIALLY if you’re the one who ended the relationship.)

If He’s Married:
This does not mean he’s no longer your soulmate. Remember, a man is only interested in the women in his current time and vicinity. Also, remember that divorce statistics dictate a 50/50 chance of the marriage not working out. You may enter his vicinity, but don’t expect immediate results. Keep in contact, but keep it to a minimum.

If he happens to decide to divorce his wife, that’s when he’s going to need support. That’s when you show him your dedication. You’ve never forgotten about him, so now’s the time to show him that. Work at keeping his spirits up, help him raise money to get the divorce done, and he’ll soon be back to the guy you fell in love with. Divorce is just a temporary pothole in life and he’s going to be a bit miserable during this time, but his natural personality will exist forever. He will pull through it and eventually get back to being the confident, funny, interesting man you remember, and he’ll recover faster with a bit of help and support from you. Your dedication to him during this time will shine.

Your Responsibility

This is important. This is where you have to accept the fact that you’ve unconsciously chosen him for the rest of your life. He hasn’t left your mind since the day you met him. He is YOUR soulmate. He always will be. If you want to keep him, you have to exclusively give yourself to him. You need to be willing to contribute toward the relationship. Remember how he confidently stood by you through all the bullshit you went through? Every once in a while he’s going to need that from you, and YOU need to reliably be there. You can’t just ditch him and fuck off when things aren’t going well in his life. He NEEDS your support during those times. He NEEDS your dedication.

Sticking by him through thick and thin will convince him to burn the red flag you’ve previously left him with. You need to be there for years, decades, and a very large fraction of a century. You need to be reliable. You need to be dependable. But you also need to take care of yourself to avoid him losing interest in you.

You need to make him your soulmate by being as feminine, reliable, and trustworthy as you can possibly be. If you can do this, he will naturally respond with his commitment to you.

And now for a few questions!

FAQ:

Q: Why the fuck should I change? He should accept me for who I am!
A: First of all, if you make yourself into something that is naturally unattractive to men, then you’re going to wind up lonely regardless of which man you pursue. There are lots of women out there who are more in-tune with their femininity and will win over any man you decide to compete for.

Second, this is the ONE man you’re meant to be with. Nature and circumstance brought you together, your natural instincts chose him as your life-long soul mate, and the Universe is going to throw him in your face every so often to remind you that you lost out on a good man. This will continue for the rest of your life.

Q: I love my bestie! Sure she has some bad habits, but who doesn’t? I’m not getting rid of her!
A: Under normal circumstances, I would agree. Friendships are more important than the people you date. However, you only get ONE or maybe TWO soul mates. How many guys have you kissed? How many have you dated? Yet, NONE of them compare to that one guy. Also, you’ll need to dump the habits that you and your bestie indulge in together. If you want to keep your soul mate, you need to grow the fuck up. You cannot grow if you’ve got someone anchoring you to immaturity and stupidity.

Q: My tattoos are how I express myself, and that’s just how it is.
A: Your tattoos go against nature’s way of attracting a man to you. Tattoos on a woman are nothing more than artistic deformations and scars. Take away the design and colour, and all you have left are deformations and scars. No high quality man wants a disfigured woman.

Q: I love my curves! My soul mate shouldn’t be so narrow-minded that he can’t look past them.
A: You do not love your curves. You’re making excuses for being fat. You’re making excuses for being too lazy to lose the fat. Men are naturally attracted to women who are in decent shape. Your soul mate is no exception. You need to look your best to compete with the other women in his immediate vicinity.

Q: My guy friends don’t want to fuck me. They know where they stand.
A: Wrong. ALL your guy friends want to fuck you. Get rid of them. All of them combined are no match for your soul mate.

Thank your for your time. Now get out there, make yourself a better person, and re-capture his interest!

Mary Lambert: Bottom of the Barrel Trash

To tie in with my last entry about self-improvement, I’m going to cover the topic of people who are not only avoiding self-improvement, but those who are intentionally back-pedalling away from it.

Meet Mary Lambert:

This woman from Seattle has been getting quite a bit of attention mainly from overweight women, and it’s easy to see why. She’s extremely outspoken about her “flaws” and doesn’t apologize for them. She’s a poster child for the “This is who I am, and if you don’t like it then fuck you” movement.

Here’s one of her songs:

If you don’t watch the video, I’ll forgive you. It’s not worth watching, and the comments mainly consist of women touting the “you go girl” mantra, and the occasional white knight cooing her supporters (whom he will never seduce.)

However, I AM going to analyze the lyrics…

I’ve got bi-polar disorder
My shit’s not in order
I’m overweight
I’m always late
I’ve got too many things to say
I rock mom jeans, cat earrings
Extrapolate my feelings
My family is dysfunctional
But we have a good time killing each other

Whenever any of this stuff comes up when I’m dating a woman, I take it as a red flag. Throw all of this into one woman, and she’s disqualified from getting my attention and/or affection.

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

She’s completely missed the point here. What you learn (or should be learning) when you’re young is to be the best person you can be. I’ve personally spent a great deal of time becoming a better person all around; better personality, more confident, more independent, more financially stable, more physically in shape, and have spent a great amount of time successfully achieving my goals. I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished over the years, and I think I have every right to be. Now, what kind of a woman should I get to compliment my life? A lazy fat chick who’s got a big mouth? Does that compliment my achievements? No.

There are times I’ve wondered if all my self-improvement has been worth it. I’ve put in the effort (and continue to do so) in becoming the best person I can be, but the women out there are busy becoming the worst they can be and are PROUD of their non-achievements. I’ve heard so many women ask “where are all the good men?” Here’s a news flash ladies: all the good men don’t want low quality women.

Let’s continue with the crappy song…

I can’t think straight, I’m so gay
Sometimes I cry a whole day
I care a lot, use an analog clock
And never know when to stop
And I’m passive, aggressive
I’m scared of the dark and the dentist
I love my butt and won’t shut up
And I never really grew up

She’s now thrown in the subject of homosexuality. I firmly believe that there are two types of homosexuals: the kind who are born gay, and the kind who choose to be gay. I can’t help but wonder if she’s gay by choice. If anything, she has no choice. No good man in his right mind would want to mate with her, and she isn’t going to want some low-life beta loser, so she’s stuck with other women whom have also been abandoned by men. Women are good at inflicting emotional fluctuation upon each other, so why not date them? (Incidently, this is why there are so many “bisexual” women in existence.)

The one thing she forgot to mention in this song is the giant permanent bruise on her arm. Holy fuck is that thing ever ugly!

If Mary Lambert (or any of her supporters) read this page, the first thing out of their mouths are going to be “Haterz gonna hate.” This has nothing to do with hating a person, it has to do with the things they stand for. Anything that goes against natural gender roles, natural attraction mechanisms, and natural human reproduction is dangerous to us as a species. Taking away attraction and sexual reproduction will leave our species with dying numbers. Everything Mary Lambert stands for encourages human extinction. Is this the kind of role model today’s women need? One that endangers the death of humankind?

I can use a total of three words to summarize Mary Lambert:

FAT GAY BITCH.

How is this appealing to anybody? I’ll tell you one thing for certain, it is NOT appealing to men like myself. Here are three words describing what a man wants:

Thin, Feminine, kind-hearted

For any men reading, just think about those three words. Think of a pretty woman and attach those words to her. Those three words conjure up a lot of good imagery. Those three words stimulate the imagination of men. Those three words encourage men to participate in human reproduction.

WOMEN… Quit embracing the “I’m a piece of shit and proud of it” attitude. Fix yourself up into someone that’s worth loving; someone that’s worth cherishing; someone that worth keeping.

Nobody Likes It When You Change Your World

Most humans avoid change. We are creatures of habit, and we don’t like it when we’re thrown outside of our comfort zone. We enjoy doing things the same way, the same times, the same places, interacting with the same people. We don’t like changing the way we do things, the time we do them, nor do we like talking to strangers. On the whole, humans can be pretty fucking boring.

However, when we don’t change, we don’t grow as individuals. We’re stuck with our old shitty habits, our shitty attitudes, and the morals that our parents, peers and society have brainwashed us with. We end up becoming products of these influences. For decades, men have been drinking beer and watch sporting events on Sunday. Women have forever been thinking that men have “ulterior motives” when they buy them flowers. We’ve learned all of this from influence.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is step outside the box and think about the things in our lives that influence us. What are our parents really like? Are they nice people? Do their friends and acquaintances like them, or do they simply put up with them? When you step outside the box and REALLY look at what kind of people they are, you may discover some interesting things. They might be genuinely loving and caring people. You may discover that they’re the biggest assholes on the planet. If they weren’t your parents, would you genuinely want to spend time with them? Would they be good friends to you?

If we regularly watch television, read the news or listen to the radio, we’re going to be majorly influenced by the media and society’s opinion. We learn that men are all perverted rapists. Women are still not treated equally. Gay procreation is good for humankind. We get these messages shoved down our throats on a regular basis, and we buy into it all because it’s all groupthink, and groupthink is good. We should think like everybody else because everybody says it’s bad to be an outcast.

Who is everybody, and why is their opinion important?

When you stop doing what everybody else expects of you, you’re going to run into problems. Society won’t want your opinion, you’ll have difficulty making friends, you’ll lose the friends you currently have, and your relatives (especially your parents) will frown upon you. You’re not doing what is expected! You’re causing change in their lives, and as I’ve stated earlier, NOBODY likes change. It’s uncomfortable and it causes conflict. It doesn’t matter what YOU want, what matters is what is expected of you. If you behave a certain way at your job and suddenly decide that you’re not going to let your co-workers walk all over you, they’re going to be on a mission to put a dead stop to your “strange” behaviour. They KNOW what you’re like, they KNOW what your strengths and weaknesses are, and they aren’t going to put up with this new direction you want to go. They’re going to correct you and put you back in your place. Soon enough, you’re going to get asked about your attitude problem in the workplace. If you reach this point, you either have to stop your personal growth, or find a new job.

When you genuinely embrace and incorporate change into your personality, most people are going to notice and many are NOT going to like it. Those who took advantage of you before will no longer be able to do so. Those who have been dictating what the right path is for you are going to tell you to smarten up and quit acting so foolish. Genuine personal change is an uphill battle.

I’ve been through all of it. I’ve lost friends, I’ve screwed up my relationship with my parents, I’ve changed jobs, and I have difficulty connecting with others when it comes to everything that is pop culture and morally correct. However, all the change I’ve made in my life has benefited me greatly. It’s made me more patient and less angry. It’s made me intolerant of those who abuse my good nature. It’s also improved the financial areas of my life, and has helped me find much more happiness. It’s also improved my sex life. Having the freedom to choose what I want regardless of what everyone else thinks of me has changed my world for the better. There’s absolutely nothing better than being free from the judgemental opinions of others.

Personal transformation involves transforming your own world. The people we’re forced to keep in it for various purposes (such as relatives) may go from a consistent presence to a mere occasional visit. They don’t like your new backbone, your new choice of religion, or even your new career path. However, some people will commit to the philosophy of “family always sticks together” and merely tolerate your new choices.

Once you begin making genuine improvements to your world, you’ll find that you’re NEVER done changing it. Perhaps you may go through one or two major improvements in your life that totally fuck up everything around you. As you discover, repair, and improve all areas of your world, you’re going to find MORE little things you need to work on along the way. You may have a hidden psychological problem. You may have a routine you need to alter. You may want to take up a new hobby. You may have to eliminate people from your life that keep you in neutral.

Self-improvement never ends, but embracing the change will be the most rewarding thing you do for yourself.

Emotional Fluctuation

Nine years ago, I wrote a post on SoSuave called “The Inner Workings of Women: Emotion”. The post has been recently bumped by newer members. I haven’t read it since I wrote it, so I decided to see what my brain was coming up with back then. Usually when I go back and read my old writings, I think “Damn was I stupid back then”. That’s not the case here. I hit everything dead-on, and I still believe every word I wrote in that post to this day. Do yourself a favour and go read it:

Link Here

Men get their excitement with anything highly positive. Women find excitement with emotional fluctuation.

When you really understand a woman’s needs for emotional fluctuation, her actions begin to make much more sense. Women are masters at things like multitasking, but are dreadfully awful at making decisions on simple things like choosing an item from a restaurant menu. Food generally doesn’t cause women much emotional excitement. That’s why men used to do the woman a favour by taking the lead, and choosing a menu item FOR her. These days it’s considered “impolite” and “presumptuous”. We can thank society for ruining that one, along with a multitude of other things that made relationships much more enjoyable for both sexes.

The amount of emotional fluctuation required to get a woman excited varies. Some women will get excited from just a little bit of teasing, while other women will require full-blown sexual controversy to get their juices flowing. Women who require very little emotional fluctuation are obviously the best choices for a long term relationship. They’re easily satisfied when you throw a little bit of drama their way, and are therefore easy to maintain.

Women who require a LOT of fluctuation are a nightmare if you try to lock them down into a relationship. Sure she’ll be fucking you, but she’ll also flirt with your friends, maintain a circle of male orbiters, fuck another woman’s husband behind your back, and then complain that she can’t find a good man to make her a bride. These women never get their fulfilment of emotional fluctuation, and are always looking to push the envelope a little bit further for the ultimate rush. It’s also not just their romantic relationships that experience turmoil, she will bring this kind of “excitement” to her family, friends, co-workers, and anybody else in her vicinity.

Men are much different when it comes to being happy. They enjoy a steady stream of positive emotion that lasts from a few hours to a few days. However, men make the mistake of trying to impose this type of emotional stability onto their women. Many men will spend money, time and effort trying to keep their women afloat on a steady stream of positive emotion. What inevitably happens is the woman whispers “oh fucking God” under her breath and turns his well-intended actions into something derogatory, mean, or manipulative. It’s not that she doesn’t want to appreciate his efforts to make her happy, it’s that she doesn’t get satisfaction from being consistently happy. Believe it or not, the fact that she’s taking his positive actions as something negative brings her a bit of pleasure. If he’s not going to give her the emotional fluctuation she requires, she’s going to induce it herself to make things more interesting.

A recent post over at Chateau Heartiste (link here) also covered this subject very well, with the exception of one part:

Women have slicker emotional fluidity than men, but their highs aren’t as high nor their lows as low as the passions that men are capable of feeling. Few women will ever feel with the same intensity the exhilarating rush of power that a man feels when he is victorious in struggle.

I disagree with the idea that women cannot experience the same highs and lows as men. In fact, I think women can experience extremes that men generally don’t reach. Women cry when they’re overly happy, cry when they’re overly sad, cry when they’re extremely pissed off. Cry, cry, cry. The only difference is women cannot stand sitting on a consistent flow of one emotion as long as men can. A man riding a flow of emotion can be compared to that of a glider slowly floating back to the ground. A woman experiencing a phase of emotion is more like jumping into the air and landing back on the ground. Hand her a pogo stick and she’ll have fun for hours.

A romantic relationship between a man and a woman requires constant maintenance of individual emotional satisfaction in order for it to be successful. A woman could buy a man a 4×4, and he’ll drive off into the ditch for two days of non-stop fun. The woman requires a bit more variety to reach this level of satisfaction. A man would need to walk into the room and scream “get over here you fucking bitch!” She may initially resist, and he will have to insist with “get over here NOW!” She comes over ready for a fight, and he places his lips forcefully on hers, wrapping his strong arms around her in a bear hug which prevents her from resisting. He then eases up on her lips, caresses her tongue with his, and they go into a sexually passionate kiss. On the way to the bedroom, he whacks her ass as hard as possible, telling her to NEVER resist him again. They proceed to have both passionate and aggressive sex. The woman is now as satisfied as the man who enjoyed two days of 4x4ing.

When a relationship turn sour, two things happen. The man puts more effort into trying to keep her on a steady flow of happiness, and the woman will start more arguments. The relationship drags on until either the man gets sick of never being able to make her 100% happy, or the woman gets sick of being on a constant flow of negative emotion.

A healthy and successful romantic relationship will have the man injecting emotional fluctuation into her life, while the woman will inject positive emotional stability into his. Neither will stray or leave because both are benefiting from each other.

Men and Women are Not Equal

Here’s a clip from the show “All In The Family” that stood out to me even as a child. Ever since the day I saw it, I never bought into the idea that men and women are or could be equal. Have all the surgeries you want, talk about how equality will bring true peace, go out of your way to prove you’re just as good as the opposite sex, but you will NEVER be equal to them.