Nine years ago, I wrote a post on SoSuave called “The Inner Workings of Women: Emotion”. The post has been recently bumped by newer members. I haven’t read it since I wrote it, so I decided to see what my brain was coming up with back then. Usually when I go back and read my old writings, I think “Damn was I stupid back then”. That’s not the case here. I hit everything dead-on, and I still believe every word I wrote in that post to this day. Do yourself a favour and go read it:
Men get their excitement with anything highly positive. Women find excitement with emotional fluctuation.
When you really understand a woman’s needs for emotional fluctuation, her actions begin to make much more sense. Women are masters at things like multitasking, but are dreadfully awful at making decisions on simple things like choosing an item from a restaurant menu. Food generally doesn’t cause women much emotional excitement. That’s why men used to do the woman a favour by taking the lead, and choosing a menu item FOR her. These days it’s considered “impolite” and “presumptuous”. We can thank society for ruining that one, along with a multitude of other things that made relationships much more enjoyable for both sexes.
The amount of emotional fluctuation required to get a woman excited varies. Some women will get excited from just a little bit of teasing, while other women will require full-blown sexual controversy to get their juices flowing. Women who require very little emotional fluctuation are obviously the best choices for a long term relationship. They’re easily satisfied when you throw a little bit of drama their way, and are therefore easy to maintain.
Women who require a LOT of fluctuation are a nightmare if you try to lock them down into a relationship. Sure she’ll be fucking you, but she’ll also flirt with your friends, maintain a circle of male orbiters, fuck another woman’s husband behind your back, and then complain that she can’t find a good man to make her a bride. These women never get their fulfilment of emotional fluctuation, and are always looking to push the envelope a little bit further for the ultimate rush. It’s also not just their romantic relationships that experience turmoil, she will bring this kind of “excitement” to her family, friends, co-workers, and anybody else in her vicinity.
Men are much different when it comes to being happy. They enjoy a steady stream of positive emotion that lasts from a few hours to a few days. However, men make the mistake of trying to impose this type of emotional stability onto their women. Many men will spend money, time and effort trying to keep their women afloat on a steady stream of positive emotion. What inevitably happens is the woman whispers “oh fucking God” under her breath and turns his well-intended actions into something derogatory, mean, or manipulative. It’s not that she doesn’t want to appreciate his efforts to make her happy, it’s that she doesn’t get satisfaction from being consistently happy. Believe it or not, the fact that she’s taking his positive actions as something negative brings her a bit of pleasure. If he’s not going to give her the emotional fluctuation she requires, she’s going to induce it herself to make things more interesting.
A recent post over at Chateau Heartiste (link here) also covered this subject very well, with the exception of one part:
Women have slicker emotional fluidity than men, but their highs aren’t as high nor their lows as low as the passions that men are capable of feeling. Few women will ever feel with the same intensity the exhilarating rush of power that a man feels when he is victorious in struggle.
I disagree with the idea that women cannot experience the same highs and lows as men. In fact, I think women can experience extremes that men generally don’t reach. Women cry when they’re overly happy, cry when they’re overly sad, cry when they’re extremely pissed off. Cry, cry, cry. The only difference is women cannot stand sitting on a consistent flow of one emotion as long as men can. A man riding a flow of emotion can be compared to that of a glider slowly floating back to the ground. A woman experiencing a phase of emotion is more like jumping into the air and landing back on the ground. Hand her a pogo stick and she’ll have fun for hours.
A romantic relationship between a man and a woman requires constant maintenance of individual emotional satisfaction in order for it to be successful. A woman could buy a man a 4×4, and he’ll drive off into the ditch for two days of non-stop fun. The woman requires a bit more variety to reach this level of satisfaction. A man would need to walk into the room and scream “get over here you fucking bitch!” She may initially resist, and he will have to insist with “get over here NOW!” She comes over ready for a fight, and he places his lips forcefully on hers, wrapping his strong arms around her in a bear hug which prevents her from resisting. He then eases up on her lips, caresses her tongue with his, and they go into a sexually passionate kiss. On the way to the bedroom, he whacks her ass as hard as possible, telling her to NEVER resist him again. They proceed to have both passionate and aggressive sex. The woman is now as satisfied as the man who enjoyed two days of 4x4ing.
When a relationship turn sour, two things happen. The man puts more effort into trying to keep her on a steady flow of happiness, and the woman will start more arguments. The relationship drags on until either the man gets sick of never being able to make her 100% happy, or the woman gets sick of being on a constant flow of negative emotion.
A healthy and successful romantic relationship will have the man injecting emotional fluctuation into her life, while the woman will inject positive emotional stability into his. Neither will stray or leave because both are benefiting from each other.
