Yes, I’m Still Alive…

I haven’t forgotten about this place. I have lots of half-written posts in the works, lots of stuff to comment on, and so forth. I’ve just been incredibly busy. Right now, I’d just like to take some time to commend a few people…

First, congratulations to a certain 21 year old who is celebrating her one year anniversary of pursuing me. Don’t give up that dream!

Second, congratulations to my ex-fiancée whom I hung out with last Thursday. I teased the hell out of you and took you on an emotional rollercoaster ride, but you managed to fight back the tears (just barely!) It just goes to show that bringing a woman to tears doesn’t mean that she’s never going to speak to you. She sent me a nice, playful message this morning.

Third, I’d like to commend the married Christian mother of four on asking for my number. Yes, I’m a much better option than your husband, and I’m sure you can ask Jesus to forgive you for following your natural desire to mate with me. After all, God designed you to be attracted to men such as myself. He’ll understand. Too bad I find your sister (who is also attracted to me) to be unappealing. However, you’ve done a great job at keeping yourself physically attractive!

Fourth, to the 17 year old who’s absolutely crazy about me… Please shower more. Your vagina is rotting from the inside-out.

Fifth, to the girl who begged to be my designated driver on my birthday… You’ve been asking people where I’ve been. Don’t worry, you shall see me tonight!

Yeah, I’ve been busy. I haven’t really picked a woman to date yet because… well…. the above haven’t met the high standards I set for myself when selecting a woman. However, the social proof these women bring is extremely valuable. I’ll be ready to pounce when someone I desire sneaks into my current vicinity.

Until I’m done writing my next post, here’s a song representing what all women should aspire to be. Why? Because it’s feminine and sexy. I truly appreciate feminine and sexy.

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