Most humans avoid change. We are creatures of habit, and we don’t like it when we’re thrown outside of our comfort zone. We enjoy doing things the same way, the same times, the same places, interacting with the same people. We don’t like changing the way we do things, the time we do them, nor do we like talking to strangers. On the whole, humans can be pretty fucking boring.
However, when we don’t change, we don’t grow as individuals. We’re stuck with our old shitty habits, our shitty attitudes, and the morals that our parents, peers and society have brainwashed us with. We end up becoming products of these influences. For decades, men have been drinking beer and watch sporting events on Sunday. Women have forever been thinking that men have “ulterior motives” when they buy them flowers. We’ve learned all of this from influence.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is step outside the box and think about the things in our lives that influence us. What are our parents really like? Are they nice people? Do their friends and acquaintances like them, or do they simply put up with them? When you step outside the box and REALLY look at what kind of people they are, you may discover some interesting things. They might be genuinely loving and caring people. You may discover that they’re the biggest assholes on the planet. If they weren’t your parents, would you genuinely want to spend time with them? Would they be good friends to you?
If we regularly watch television, read the news or listen to the radio, we’re going to be majorly influenced by the media and society’s opinion. We learn that men are all perverted rapists. Women are still not treated equally. Gay procreation is good for humankind. We get these messages shoved down our throats on a regular basis, and we buy into it all because it’s all groupthink, and groupthink is good. We should think like everybody else because everybody says it’s bad to be an outcast.
Who is everybody, and why is their opinion important?
When you stop doing what everybody else expects of you, you’re going to run into problems. Society won’t want your opinion, you’ll have difficulty making friends, you’ll lose the friends you currently have, and your relatives (especially your parents) will frown upon you. You’re not doing what is expected! You’re causing change in their lives, and as I’ve stated earlier, NOBODY likes change. It’s uncomfortable and it causes conflict. It doesn’t matter what YOU want, what matters is what is expected of you. If you behave a certain way at your job and suddenly decide that you’re not going to let your co-workers walk all over you, they’re going to be on a mission to put a dead stop to your “strange” behaviour. They KNOW what you’re like, they KNOW what your strengths and weaknesses are, and they aren’t going to put up with this new direction you want to go. They’re going to correct you and put you back in your place. Soon enough, you’re going to get asked about your attitude problem in the workplace. If you reach this point, you either have to stop your personal growth, or find a new job.
When you genuinely embrace and incorporate change into your personality, most people are going to notice and many are NOT going to like it. Those who took advantage of you before will no longer be able to do so. Those who have been dictating what the right path is for you are going to tell you to smarten up and quit acting so foolish. Genuine personal change is an uphill battle.
I’ve been through all of it. I’ve lost friends, I’ve screwed up my relationship with my parents, I’ve changed jobs, and I have difficulty connecting with others when it comes to everything that is pop culture and morally correct. However, all the change I’ve made in my life has benefited me greatly. It’s made me more patient and less angry. It’s made me intolerant of those who abuse my good nature. It’s also improved the financial areas of my life, and has helped me find much more happiness. It’s also improved my sex life. Having the freedom to choose what I want regardless of what everyone else thinks of me has changed my world for the better. There’s absolutely nothing better than being free from the judgemental opinions of others.
Personal transformation involves transforming your own world. The people we’re forced to keep in it for various purposes (such as relatives) may go from a consistent presence to a mere occasional visit. They don’t like your new backbone, your new choice of religion, or even your new career path. However, some people will commit to the philosophy of “family always sticks together” and merely tolerate your new choices.
Once you begin making genuine improvements to your world, you’ll find that you’re NEVER done changing it. Perhaps you may go through one or two major improvements in your life that totally fuck up everything around you. As you discover, repair, and improve all areas of your world, you’re going to find MORE little things you need to work on along the way. You may have a hidden psychological problem. You may have a routine you need to alter. You may want to take up a new hobby. You may have to eliminate people from your life that keep you in neutral.
Self-improvement never ends, but embracing the change will be the most rewarding thing you do for yourself.