How To Win Over The Ladies


It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the general male population is when it comes to women. Even in my younger and more naive days, I was never such an imbecile. Let me give you an example…

On my last birthday, I went out for some drinks with friends. I had a couple of people lined up to drive me home, but one of the women who worked there insisted on being my designated driver. So of course I granted her request and sent all my friends home. Near the end of the night before we left, there was a guy orbiting her. Apparently, he was insisting that she loved him and they were going to spend the night together. As she drove me home, this guy followed her all the way to my house. I was absolutely blown away that any guy would have the audacity to follow a woman like this. My designated driver told me that this was a somewhat regular occurrence in her life. After she dropped me off, the orbiter then followed her all the way across the city back to her house. He apparently came back the next day and sat outside her house in his car. She eventually called the police on him.

There’s enough media exposure about the creepy behaviours of men to inform them that this is not attractive behaviour, but many men still do it. The same goes with sending dick pics through online dating sites.

So why was this bar worker so interested in spending time with me as opposed to the stalker guy? Well, let’s boil it all down. These are all things that make women attracted to a man:

Women absolutely love confident men. If you tell her your sob stories about how mean your ex-girlfriend was to you, you’re not going to win her over. Pity does NOT equal attraction.

To show confidence, you need to approach her without intimidation, but with the simple goal of communicating something interesting. Confident people can strike up conversations with strangers, women included. Confident men also have no problem taking the lead. Ever go out to eat with a woman? They’re terrible decision makers. They tend to go with whatever their emotions are telling them, but their emotions don’t fluctuate quickly enough to make efficient decisions on what to eat from a restaurant menu. If she’s having trouble, kindly get some options from her and pick something for her. YES, CHOOSE WHAT SHE’S EATING. You’re doing the both of you a favour by not wasting time and relieving her of decision making. This is just one example of taking the lead.

Here’s another one… When setting up dates, don’t ask her what she wants to do. You’ll end up going back and forth forever trying to figure out an activity. Think of something to do and take her. If she comes up with an idea for something to do, she’ll let you know. Take her suggestion when she has one.

Positive Attitude: This goes hand-in-hand with confidence. If you view most things in a positive light, you’re going to be enjoyable to be around, and people will gravitate toward you. Ever be around someone who’s always whining or complaining about something? It’s not enjoyable, and it won’t put YOU in a good mood. Personalities are infectious. If you want the other person to be positive toward you, then you must be positive yourself. This doesn’t just go for your interactions with women, it goes for your interactions with EVERYBODY.

Enthusiasm: ALWAYS be just a bit more enthusiastic than her about things. Make her feel like you’re confident and passionate about things.

Kinesthetics: Don’t be afraid to touch her! No, I don’t mean grab her breasts you fucking pig. Acceptable touch is patting her on the shoulder, picking things out of her hair, batting her dangly earrings, putting your hand in the middle of her back to lead her through a doorway, and pretty much anything that isn’t sexual. Do things that you wouldn’t really have a problem doing to a male friend. Escalation to a sexual level (hand holding, kissing) comes after she’s attracted to you.

Humour/Flirting: You need to be playful in order to gain her interest. Treat her like your bratty sister. Throw small paper balls at her. Pinch her cheek and tell her how cute she is in baby talk. Also, don’t forget to pick on yourself a bit. Making jokes about yourself is not only humorous, it’s also extremely confident.

All of this stuff takes practice if you’re not used to it. You NEED to put yourself outside your comfort zone in order to get good at it.

Now, let’s focus on the things you SHOULDN’T do…

First of all, I need to emphasize that men and women are attracted to very different things. Men are primarily attracted to the physical aspects of a woman. Women are primarily attracted to things that cause them emotional fluctuation. Sometimes a man’s looks can trigger it, but more often than not, it will be the man’s personality that will cause her emotions to fluctuate. Thankfully you can train your personality to become more attractive. Women who are born with the “ugly” gene have to work hard to attract men.

So all the things you find attractive about women (their nude sexy parts and outright honesty about engaging in sexual behaviour) are NOT going to have the same effect when you use it on them. Showing them your peener and asking them to fuck is going to get you slapped with a sexual harassment charge.

Here’s some more stuff:

Buying Her Too Much Shit: Flowers, meals, alcohol, candy, jewellery, lingerie, paying their bills, buying things they see in a store, etc, etc, etc. They don’t need all that shit. Buying them all this crap does NOT create attraction. It causes spoilage. What happens when you give a child everything they want? The child starts EXPECTING to get everything they ask for. When that happens, there’s no more excitement when you give them something. Instead, you become a genie who is only called upon when something is needed. The same goes for women. She should be calling upon you because you bring her genuine pleasure with your PERSONALITY.

Worshipping Her: She is not a goddess. She does not hold the key to your heart. She is not the reason for you to live. You should be building your foundation of happiness upon your own interests, goals, and desires. If you build your foundation of happiness upon a woman, your entire life is going to come crashing down if she removes herself from your life. You DO NOT want that. Quit putting her on a pedestal. She’s not a beautiful, precious, breakable gem. She’s only a female human. Treat her as such.

Pestering Her: Bombarding her with text messages and voice mails will piss her off. Repeatedly asking her out is going to annoy her. If she said NO, she means it. If she changes her mind, she’ll let you know. Desperation is NOT an attractive quality to possess.

Also, when you ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing”, you know damn well there’s something wrong. Pestering her to tell you what’s wrong is just going to piss her off. Leaving her alone until she’s ready to tell you will have better results. Of course you’re wondering what the hell is going on in that brain of hers, but annoying her when she’s in a negative state of emotion is just going to keep her there. Women don’t stay in their high levels of emotion for long. Just wait it out until she levels out.

Boring Sex: She isn’t enjoying sex when you primarily focus on getting yourself off. She is not going to simply enjoy the fact that your dick is inside her. For men, sex is the act of repeated penetration until ejaculation. For women, sex is the build up, the anticipation, the flirting, the kissing, the removal of clothing, the atmosphere, the foreplay, the penetration, the orgasm, and the cuddling afterwards. In other words, the man enjoys the highlight while a woman enjoys the entire movie. If you want her to be sexually satisfied (resulting in more sex for you), you need to give her the full adventure and story. Another thing you need to remember is women don’t want the same story every time. They want things to be different sometimes. They want different positions, different locations, different methods of approaching orgasm, fast, slow, hard, soft, and sometimes all of the above. But sometimes they like to hear the same story twice because you almost NEVER do that.

Too Much Romance: A relationship is much like a meal. You have to have substance in order for it to be enjoyable. Romantic gestures are only a spice to make your relationship more pleasing. Women don’t like their relationship to be a plate full of salt and pepper. Keep the romance spontaneous, but infrequent.

These are the basic guidelines to attract a woman and KEEP them attracted. There are lot of little things you can do to make everything more effective, but these are the major factors that will make her decide if she’s into you or not.

So here’s the end tale of the designated driver and the orbiter…. The orbiter who stalked my female friend displayed a huge amount of desperation. Unlike him, I naturally and subconsciously abide by everything I’ve listed above and she naturally gravitates toward me. When you can do all this stuff without even trying, getting dates becomes extremely easy. You end up having women fall into your lap without even trying.

With regards to this particular woman, I’ve placed her on the backburner because she currently has a boyfriend. In order to seduce her, I need to demonstrate a higher value than her boyfriend (which I’ve been consistently working at). She’s already shared some of her issues with him, one being the fact that he’s too terrified of offending her in the bedroom. Again, women want adventure in the bedroom as well as emotional fluctuation. You cannot be afraid of offending her when trying to please her sexually. If you happen to spank her ass too hard, she’ll get over it. If anything, she probably secretly enjoyed it because she didn’t expect it.

Men, if you decide to achieve the women of your dreams, you need to fix yourself up. You need to become more interesting and less desperate. Work at it. Become better. Become more attractive. Women want real men, not feminized knock-offs masquerading as men. Embrace your masculinity, enhance your best qualities, and surround them with other attractive personality traits. You WILL get results.


Emotional Fluctuation


Nine years ago, I wrote a post on SoSuave called “The Inner Workings of Women: Emotion”. The post has been recently bumped by newer members. I haven’t read it since I wrote it, so I decided to see what my brain was coming up with back then. Usually when I go back and read my old writings, I think “Damn was I stupid back then”. That’s not the case here. I hit everything dead-on, and I still believe every word I wrote in that post to this day. Do yourself a favour and go read it:

Link Here

Men get their excitement with anything highly positive. Women find excitement with emotional fluctuation.

When you really understand a woman’s needs for emotional fluctuation, her actions begin to make much more sense. Women are masters at things like multitasking, but are dreadfully awful at making decisions on simple things like choosing an item from a restaurant menu. Food generally doesn’t cause women much emotional excitement. That’s why men used to do the woman a favour by taking the lead, and choosing a menu item FOR her. These days it’s considered “impolite” and “presumptuous”. We can thank society for ruining that one, along with a multitude of other things that made relationships much more enjoyable for both sexes.

The amount of emotional fluctuation required to get a woman excited varies. Some women will get excited from just a little bit of teasing, while other women will require full-blown sexual controversy to get their juices flowing. Women who require very little emotional fluctuation are obviously the best choices for a long term relationship. They’re easily satisfied when you throw a little bit of drama their way, and are therefore easy to maintain.

Women who require a LOT of fluctuation are a nightmare if you try to lock them down into a relationship. Sure she’ll be fucking you, but she’ll also flirt with your friends, maintain a circle of male orbiters, fuck another woman’s husband behind your back, and then complain that she can’t find a good man to make her a bride. These women never get their fulfilment of emotional fluctuation, and are always looking to push the envelope a little bit further for the ultimate rush. It’s also not just their romantic relationships that experience turmoil, she will bring this kind of “excitement” to her family, friends, co-workers, and anybody else in her vicinity.

Men are much different when it comes to being happy. They enjoy a steady stream of positive emotion that lasts from a few hours to a few days. However, men make the mistake of trying to impose this type of emotional stability onto their women. Many men will spend money, time and effort trying to keep their women afloat on a steady stream of positive emotion. What inevitably happens is the woman whispers “oh fucking God” under her breath and turns his well-intended actions into something derogatory, mean, or manipulative. It’s not that she doesn’t want to appreciate his efforts to make her happy, it’s that she doesn’t get satisfaction from being consistently happy. Believe it or not, the fact that she’s taking his positive actions as something negative brings her a bit of pleasure. If he’s not going to give her the emotional fluctuation she requires, she’s going to induce it herself to make things more interesting.

A recent post over at Chateau Heartiste (link here) also covered this subject very well, with the exception of one part:

Women have slicker emotional fluidity than men, but their highs aren’t as high nor their lows as low as the passions that men are capable of feeling. Few women will ever feel with the same intensity the exhilarating rush of power that a man feels when he is victorious in struggle.

I disagree with the idea that women cannot experience the same highs and lows as men. In fact, I think women can experience extremes that men generally don’t reach. Women cry when they’re overly happy, cry when they’re overly sad, cry when they’re extremely pissed off. Cry, cry, cry. The only difference is women cannot stand sitting on a consistent flow of one emotion as long as men can. A man riding a flow of emotion can be compared to that of a glider slowly floating back to the ground. A woman experiencing a phase of emotion is more like jumping into the air and landing back on the ground. Hand her a pogo stick and she’ll have fun for hours.

A romantic relationship between a man and a woman requires constant maintenance of individual emotional satisfaction in order for it to be successful. A woman could buy a man a 4×4, and he’ll drive off into the ditch for two days of non-stop fun. The woman requires a bit more variety to reach this level of satisfaction. A man would need to walk into the room and scream “get over here you fucking bitch!” She may initially resist, and he will have to insist with “get over here NOW!” She comes over ready for a fight, and he places his lips forcefully on hers, wrapping his strong arms around her in a bear hug which prevents her from resisting. He then eases up on her lips, caresses her tongue with his, and they go into a sexually passionate kiss. On the way to the bedroom, he whacks her ass as hard as possible, telling her to NEVER resist him again. They proceed to have both passionate and aggressive sex. The woman is now as satisfied as the man who enjoyed two days of 4x4ing.

When a relationship turn sour, two things happen. The man puts more effort into trying to keep her on a steady flow of happiness, and the woman will start more arguments. The relationship drags on until either the man gets sick of never being able to make her 100% happy, or the woman gets sick of being on a constant flow of negative emotion.

A healthy and successful romantic relationship will have the man injecting emotional fluctuation into her life, while the woman will inject positive emotional stability into his. Neither will stray or leave because both are benefiting from each other.

Thoughts on Attraction

I’ve been on a break from dating for the past three months or so. This has been an entirely self-imposed break for three reasons. First, I’ve spent the last year being involved with two women who turned out to be unsuitable for relationships. Hey, sometimes it takes six months for the red flags to come out, but when they do, it’s time to move on.

Second, I will force myself to take a break from dating when I find myself getting angry with the quality of women in general. I don’t want to become a woman-hater. Sometimes I just need to re-focus on why today’s women are the way they are, and it also gives me a chance to let my frustrations exit my system.

Third, there really hasn’t been any viable options coming my way. The holidays are an interesting time for relationships and such. Usually, just before the holidays, the women who are involved with somebody choose to remain involved until shortly before Christmas, or shortly after. Most of the general population has bought into the idea that being alone for the holidays is a dreadful situation that should be avoided at all costs, even if it means temporarily settling for someone you don’t like. From looking at all the women recently joining “Plenty of Fish”, relationships have started terminating. New prospects will be showing up in my life soon.

But I digress. I never seem to have a complete absence of women in my life. The ones I’m not very attracted to linger and sometimes persist. I’m not one to kick a woman out of my life solely because she’s physically unappealing. I keep them around because women are attracted to what other women like. Women will criticize other women when they’re jealous. So I let them and even encourage them to be jealous.

There’s a 21 year old who’s been hovering over me for the past 9 months. It’s become obvious that I’m at the top of her high score list. I considered her to be just a friend…. until she came over on Christmas day with alcohol, got me drunk, and tried to fuck me. Yes, men get taken advantage of, but it’s the exception to the rule. Most average men would kill to have some chick do that to them. The men who are the most desirable are the ones who are most likely to become rape victims.

The average man tries to buy women’s attention with free drinks, flowers, and whatever romantic stuff they can think of. Do you know what I did to this 21 year old? Nothing. I hung out with her, never made a move, never bought her anything, and she attempts to rape me.

Due to the fact that none of my real-life acquaintances read this blog, I’m free to post some mildly personal things. Here’s a text exchange between me and the 21 year old:



She “can’t do this anymore”, so I kindly tell her I’m not interested; much similar to the way a woman would break the news to a guy. You think she would understand the universal language of women and say “Okay, well maybe I should leave him alone and pursue other guys.” Instead, she asks if I wanna go record shopping with her.

Her “I can’t do this anymore” has been thrown into the trash can and is sitting nicely with her used tampons.

Desdinova’s Law #1: Never burn bridges with a woman who has placed you in one of the top positions on her high score list. She may one day become a useful asset, and you want to retain the ability to pull her back into your life.

Desdinova’s Law #2: Always be prepared to walk away from a woman. This puts you in the position of power and control when it comes to all aspects of the relationship, and it keeps you in charge of your own destiny. (Side note: having a female companion should NEVER be your destiny)

This next screenshot was sent to me by a woman I recently met. I have no desire to date her because she’s 39 and is in the process of expiry, but I added her to my Facebook nonetheless. (Perhaps I’ll eventually write about how fantastic Facebook is for getting your women’s emotions fluctuating.)

The 39 year old is mutual friends with Rachel, a woman I dated and banged four years ago. I ended things with her after two months. However, you should never underestimate the magic of giving a woman an orgasm. Here’s the screenshot:


Now just think about what’s happened here. These two women are talking about how fantastic I am. Then, the one who hasn’t had sex with me thinks it’s a brilliant idea to send this screenshot to me.


Because she’s curious and wants to know if I’m attracted to her. She claimed that she was sending me the screenshot to “cover her ass”. Yeah right. She sent it to me because she wanted to indirectly ask me if I’m interested in her.

So how should I answer her indirect question????

Easy. I don’t.

Giving women the answers they want and when they want takes away the curiosity, the fantasizing, and the emotional fluctuation. If I intended on responding to this indirect question, I would do so by inviting her to join me in a fun activity. I would also give her the impression that I’d be doing the activity regardless of her presence, but invite her along for the company. During the activity, I would initiate some non-sexual touching (kino) such as a pat on the shoulder or some other passive gesture that could be misinterpreted. This will lead to more and more questions bouncing around in her brain.

To raise a woman’s interest, you need to constantly be getting her to ask herself more questions. “Does he like me? Did he invite me because he likes me? Was that touch a sign of interest?” You need to get her mind racing. If she wants to try communicating sub-consciously, she will either respond to your subtle actions with her own, or she will initiate subtle actions to test your interest.

My philosophy when it comes to women is to get as many attracted to you as possible, regardless of age or physical appearance.

Desdinova’s Law #3: Attraction is contagious.

The most work occurs when you try to attract the first woman. After you’ve managed that, you may show other women that you already have one who is attracted to you. The other women will wonder what kind of value you have and become interested. The more women you attract, the more curious other women become. Curiosity in a woman’s mind gives birth to fantasy. This evolution causes the side effect of emotional fluctuation which stimulates the woman. The source of this curiosity, fantasy, emotional fluctuation and stimulation becomes attractive to the woman. This domino attraction effect gives the man the benefit of being able to choose the woman he wants. Even after he has chosen one, the other women remain interested and may even wait on the sidelines for the relationship to go sour so they can have their turn.

Many people claim that it’s the woman who chooses the male. I believe it can go both ways because I’ve experienced it personally. Creating the ability to have choice is the most effective and efficient way to sort the rocks from the jewels.

Alpha Male Lessons from Elvis

This is my favourite scene from the movie “Jailhouse Rock”. Elvis plays a character who just basically does whatever the hell he wants.

The emotional rollercoaster he sends this chick on is absolutely wild. But that’s what women respond to… emotional fluctuation. Not only that, he does whatever the hell he wants and doesn’t worry about the repercussions. He’s fully confident in everything he does. The person who wrote this scene hit everything dead on about how to jumpstart a woman’s attraction.

And that my friends is how to make a woman attracted… Send her on a wild emotional rollercoaster ride, and she’ll be analyzing it over and over again until she realizes she’s in love.

Women Obsessed with Specific Men: How It Works


Rollo Tomassi recently made a post over at his blog, tackling the topic of women having “one-itis” (in other words, a woman who would appears hopelessly obsessed with a man). While Rollo believes that this is an impossibility for women, I on the other hand believe that it can certainly happen, but the circumstances causing it are quite different than those which cause a man to have it.

Men get this condition quite frequently. They fall for a woman who’s physically appealing and likely has a stellar personality. It’s not difficult for a man to become easily attracted to women like this, and some of them will fall hopelessly “in love” with them for years. Allow me to clarify that this is not actually “love”, but infatuation. Love is a two-way street; an emotional and committed interaction between two people for a significant period of time. Notice that I didn’t say it conquers all and is everlasting, because love is neither.

Women’s attraction toward men works differently. A woman will become interested in a man who causes her emotions to fluctuate as opposed to him keeping her happy. This is a man’s first mistake with their girlfriends – to keep her ultimately happy. Men are content when they experience happiness with their women, and they believe that women function the same way. Not true.

In order for a male to keep a woman’s attention, he must keep her somewhat frustrated with him. Frustration gets a woman’s mind racing about him. A man dominates a woman’s mind when she’s constantly thinking about him. He cannot dominate her mind when she’s content with him. Have you ever noticed that we can remember bad experiences more vividly than positive ones? That’s sort of how a woman’s attraction works, but on a more obsessive level. She analyzes his personality, his actions, his body language and his voice tone, trying to come up with explanations of why he behaves in a certain fashion. She will come up with conclusions, only to have him fuck them up and she returns back to square one, analyzing his behaviour all over again.

That is how attraction works for women. It all stems from her frustration with regards to his behaviour. When a man manages to get stuck in a woman’s mind, she can be defined as highly attracted to him. However, it’s not really the frustration itself, it’s the emotional fluctuation that she goes through trying to analyze his behaviour.

“One True Love” and “Soulmates”

These are terms that apply to women only, but they do not have the logical implications that they carry (which are convincingly enforced by romantic Disney fluff). Men may be the true romantics, but their deepest attraction for a woman most often occurs in the present-time. Men have an easier time moving on from the person they lost their virginity to and/or the first woman they had a serious relationship with. Women on the other hand will get anchored to these early encounters.

Women appear to have a sub-conscious ranking system for men which works much like the high score list in a video game. The men who make a significant impact on her will move up to the top of the list, while other subsequent encounters will bounce up and down at the bottom of the list, constantly getting displaced by new encounters. The men who have the highest scores on the list are the ex-boyfriends she will likely return to if given the chance. These are the only men who could qualify as a woman’s “one true love” or “soulmate”. They are unforgettable, and they conjure up very memorable moments, both good and bad.

Examples in My Life

I am the product of a second marriage by each of my parents. One thing that baffled me while growing up is how much my mother reminisced about her ex-husband, and still does to this day. She would talk about how they would fight, how they yelled at each other, how much he drank, but would also fondly recall some of the exciting and hilarious stuff he used to do. Back then, I thought that recalling these memories was pointless. Why couldn’t my mother move on? Why was she stuck recalling these experiences when she was now re-married and invested with my father? The answer is exactly what I mentioned above: The ex-boyfriend high score list. It’s not my father who tops the high score list, it’s my mother’s now-deceased first husband. That’s not to say my dad isn’t high on the list, but he’s not sitting at number one.

My next examples are two women I’ve dated. Usually, women become obsessed with men who use them and toss them away. While there may be women in my past who fall into this category, the two examples I have are the opposite; These women broke up with ME.

The first example is the first woman I was engaged to. This is the woman I lost my virginity to, and have since moved on from her. Or at least I’d like to move on from her, but she continues to pop up in my life and pursue me.

I was her second encounter; she was 15 and I was 18. Her first boyfriend was a jerk who treated her like garbage, and I was always hearing about the guy. Her high score list was quite bare at the time, and her first boyfriend obviously had a higher score than me. We dated for two months, and then she ended things. she dated a couple of other guys, but asked me back out 9 months later. I played hard to get, but eventually accepted. We stayed together for 4 years, during which we moved in together along with me putting an engagement ring on her finger.

During the relationship, I succumbed to my old ways, became needy and obsessed with providing her with 100% happiness. These are unattractive traits for men to have, and she eventually ended the relationship. My goal from that point was to move on with my life and never return to her. She contacted me a couple of times regarding things I had that she wanted returned, but I never returned her calls and decided to just mail everything to her. I remained in contact with her sisters who had no problem setting me up with their female friends, all of which whom turned into successful short term relationships. It was during this time that I began my transformation into a Don Juan or “Red Pill Man” if you will. I vowed to never succumb to the ways of being a needy, unconfident, desperate man, and instead worked on improving my self-esteem and amplifying my good qualities. All the effort paid off, but that’s for another post.

A year after we broke up, she made an attempt to get back together with me. I agreed to meet up with her at a bar. During the entire night, I ignored her and flirted with every other woman in the venue, even going as far as getting a girl’s number while standing a few feet away from my ex.

Shortly after, I met the woman who would become my ex-wife and would occupy the next 8 years of my life. Guess who contacted me days after I ended my marriage? Yup, and she wanted to get together. I met up with her once, but decided against pursuing her upon discovery that she had gone back to her first boyfriend, and had a child with him.

Since I didn’t pursue, she ended up moving in with an alcoholic man for 3 years. When the relationship was obviously on the rocks, she began pursuing me AGAIN. Eventually, she decided to go back to the alcoholic for one more year. After it was finished for good, she contacts me YET AGAIN to pursue. We hung out a few times, and I eventually pissed her off by pursuing a relationship with a woman 9 years younger than her. Now that I’m out of that relationship, guess who’s coming around again? Yup, you guessed it.

One thing I’ve realized about the high score list is that the men at the top can still earn points, and even conquer the other hi-scorers. If I’m not currently at the top of my ex’s list, then I’m pretty damn close. I now realize that I’ve been high up on her score list for over a decade.

My next example has a much different dynamic to the breakup.

I dated a woman who was in her early 20s, and was very obviously low-mileage with regards to relationships and sex. Her high score list consisted of one boy she dated a few times who lived in a different city. The rest of her encounters were all low score men who fell off the list quickly. Then on one fateful night, she met me. We stayed together and had a very enjoyable relationship for well over a year. With me being educated in how a woman’s attraction works, I kept her emotions fluctuating, enjoyed some fantastic dates with her, and gave her the best sex she could ever ask for.

So what was the cause of the breakup? Her friends and family were all telling her I was wrong for her, mainly due to my age. I found myself fighting an uphill battle that I had no hope of winning, and she finally gave in to the mob mentality; I was too old for her and she deserved someone better (notice how this “better man” can be completely absent and adheres to a fairytale mindset). She also had an opportunity for an encounter with the out-of-town high-scorer on her list. What happened during that encounter is beyond me.

Years have passed since we parted, and where is she now? She hasn’t had a significant relationship with a man since we broke up, and is now unable to find that “better man” who can climb up the high score list and conquer the others. It’s very possible that she will eventually pursue me again, but the best way for a spark to ignite the flame again is if we run into each other in a public location. Texting or emailing would have a minimal effect in comparison to the body language, facial expressions, and voice tone which will dig up the emotions that she’s tucked away in order to find her currently non-existent “better man”.

As a side note, a woman’s female friends (which includes family) will NEVER tell a woman to break up with a nice guy who causes little emotional fluctuation. A woman’s friends will nag her to break up with the guy who disrupts her emotions like a cat in a pail of water. The reason for this isn’t because the guy’s an asshole, it’s because women are EXTREMELY competitive and her friends are also subconsciously finding themselves attractive to him. Not only is the man’s girlfriend analyzing his behaviour, her girl friends are ALSO analyzing it. He has unknowingly entered the minds of multiple women who are now subconsciously and indirectly competing for him. He now becomes a significant topic of conversation within a woman’s social circle, where they collectively analyze the man’s behaviour.

After the break up, the man will find that his ex’s friends who advised her to break up with him are extremely kind and friendly to him. This is because they are now attracted to him via their over-analysis of him, which in turn caused him to dominate their minds. Discussing someone’s boyfriend feeds a woman’s “need for drama”, and drama is a source of emotional fluctuation. Much of a woman’s behaviour and appeal for certain things can be sourced to emotional fluctuation. In contrast, a woman will abandon things that cause her to experience emotional stagnancy.

Summary: Women certainly do get one-itis, but it happens more at a sub-conscious level and is most likely to consist of men from her earliest dating encounters. The more significant the experience and the more emotional fluctuation he caused, the more he’s going to live inside the caverns of her mind.