How To Win Over The Ladies


It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the general male population is when it comes to women. Even in my younger and more naive days, I was never such an imbecile. Let me give you an example…

On my last birthday, I went out for some drinks with friends. I had a couple of people lined up to drive me home, but one of the women who worked there insisted on being my designated driver. So of course I granted her request and sent all my friends home. Near the end of the night before we left, there was a guy orbiting her. Apparently, he was insisting that she loved him and they were going to spend the night together. As she drove me home, this guy followed her all the way to my house. I was absolutely blown away that any guy would have the audacity to follow a woman like this. My designated driver told me that this was a somewhat regular occurrence in her life. After she dropped me off, the orbiter then followed her all the way across the city back to her house. He apparently came back the next day and sat outside her house in his car. She eventually called the police on him.

There’s enough media exposure about the creepy behaviours of men to inform them that this is not attractive behaviour, but many men still do it. The same goes with sending dick pics through online dating sites.

So why was this bar worker so interested in spending time with me as opposed to the stalker guy? Well, let’s boil it all down. These are all things that make women attracted to a man:

Women absolutely love confident men. If you tell her your sob stories about how mean your ex-girlfriend was to you, you’re not going to win her over. Pity does NOT equal attraction.

To show confidence, you need to approach her without intimidation, but with the simple goal of communicating something interesting. Confident people can strike up conversations with strangers, women included. Confident men also have no problem taking the lead. Ever go out to eat with a woman? They’re terrible decision makers. They tend to go with whatever their emotions are telling them, but their emotions don’t fluctuate quickly enough to make efficient decisions on what to eat from a restaurant menu. If she’s having trouble, kindly get some options from her and pick something for her. YES, CHOOSE WHAT SHE’S EATING. You’re doing the both of you a favour by not wasting time and relieving her of decision making. This is just one example of taking the lead.

Here’s another one… When setting up dates, don’t ask her what she wants to do. You’ll end up going back and forth forever trying to figure out an activity. Think of something to do and take her. If she comes up with an idea for something to do, she’ll let you know. Take her suggestion when she has one.

Positive Attitude: This goes hand-in-hand with confidence. If you view most things in a positive light, you’re going to be enjoyable to be around, and people will gravitate toward you. Ever be around someone who’s always whining or complaining about something? It’s not enjoyable, and it won’t put YOU in a good mood. Personalities are infectious. If you want the other person to be positive toward you, then you must be positive yourself. This doesn’t just go for your interactions with women, it goes for your interactions with EVERYBODY.

Enthusiasm: ALWAYS be just a bit more enthusiastic than her about things. Make her feel like you’re confident and passionate about things.

Kinesthetics: Don’t be afraid to touch her! No, I don’t mean grab her breasts you fucking pig. Acceptable touch is patting her on the shoulder, picking things out of her hair, batting her dangly earrings, putting your hand in the middle of her back to lead her through a doorway, and pretty much anything that isn’t sexual. Do things that you wouldn’t really have a problem doing to a male friend. Escalation to a sexual level (hand holding, kissing) comes after she’s attracted to you.

Humour/Flirting: You need to be playful in order to gain her interest. Treat her like your bratty sister. Throw small paper balls at her. Pinch her cheek and tell her how cute she is in baby talk. Also, don’t forget to pick on yourself a bit. Making jokes about yourself is not only humorous, it’s also extremely confident.

All of this stuff takes practice if you’re not used to it. You NEED to put yourself outside your comfort zone in order to get good at it.

Now, let’s focus on the things you SHOULDN’T do…

First of all, I need to emphasize that men and women are attracted to very different things. Men are primarily attracted to the physical aspects of a woman. Women are primarily attracted to things that cause them emotional fluctuation. Sometimes a man’s looks can trigger it, but more often than not, it will be the man’s personality that will cause her emotions to fluctuate. Thankfully you can train your personality to become more attractive. Women who are born with the “ugly” gene have to work hard to attract men.

So all the things you find attractive about women (their nude sexy parts and outright honesty about engaging in sexual behaviour) are NOT going to have the same effect when you use it on them. Showing them your peener and asking them to fuck is going to get you slapped with a sexual harassment charge.

Here’s some more stuff:

Buying Her Too Much Shit: Flowers, meals, alcohol, candy, jewellery, lingerie, paying their bills, buying things they see in a store, etc, etc, etc. They don’t need all that shit. Buying them all this crap does NOT create attraction. It causes spoilage. What happens when you give a child everything they want? The child starts EXPECTING to get everything they ask for. When that happens, there’s no more excitement when you give them something. Instead, you become a genie who is only called upon when something is needed. The same goes for women. She should be calling upon you because you bring her genuine pleasure with your PERSONALITY.

Worshipping Her: She is not a goddess. She does not hold the key to your heart. She is not the reason for you to live. You should be building your foundation of happiness upon your own interests, goals, and desires. If you build your foundation of happiness upon a woman, your entire life is going to come crashing down if she removes herself from your life. You DO NOT want that. Quit putting her on a pedestal. She’s not a beautiful, precious, breakable gem. She’s only a female human. Treat her as such.

Pestering Her: Bombarding her with text messages and voice mails will piss her off. Repeatedly asking her out is going to annoy her. If she said NO, she means it. If she changes her mind, she’ll let you know. Desperation is NOT an attractive quality to possess.

Also, when you ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing”, you know damn well there’s something wrong. Pestering her to tell you what’s wrong is just going to piss her off. Leaving her alone until she’s ready to tell you will have better results. Of course you’re wondering what the hell is going on in that brain of hers, but annoying her when she’s in a negative state of emotion is just going to keep her there. Women don’t stay in their high levels of emotion for long. Just wait it out until she levels out.

Boring Sex: She isn’t enjoying sex when you primarily focus on getting yourself off. She is not going to simply enjoy the fact that your dick is inside her. For men, sex is the act of repeated penetration until ejaculation. For women, sex is the build up, the anticipation, the flirting, the kissing, the removal of clothing, the atmosphere, the foreplay, the penetration, the orgasm, and the cuddling afterwards. In other words, the man enjoys the highlight while a woman enjoys the entire movie. If you want her to be sexually satisfied (resulting in more sex for you), you need to give her the full adventure and story. Another thing you need to remember is women don’t want the same story every time. They want things to be different sometimes. They want different positions, different locations, different methods of approaching orgasm, fast, slow, hard, soft, and sometimes all of the above. But sometimes they like to hear the same story twice because you almost NEVER do that.

Too Much Romance: A relationship is much like a meal. You have to have substance in order for it to be enjoyable. Romantic gestures are only a spice to make your relationship more pleasing. Women don’t like their relationship to be a plate full of salt and pepper. Keep the romance spontaneous, but infrequent.

These are the basic guidelines to attract a woman and KEEP them attracted. There are lot of little things you can do to make everything more effective, but these are the major factors that will make her decide if she’s into you or not.

So here’s the end tale of the designated driver and the orbiter…. The orbiter who stalked my female friend displayed a huge amount of desperation. Unlike him, I naturally and subconsciously abide by everything I’ve listed above and she naturally gravitates toward me. When you can do all this stuff without even trying, getting dates becomes extremely easy. You end up having women fall into your lap without even trying.

With regards to this particular woman, I’ve placed her on the backburner because she currently has a boyfriend. In order to seduce her, I need to demonstrate a higher value than her boyfriend (which I’ve been consistently working at). She’s already shared some of her issues with him, one being the fact that he’s too terrified of offending her in the bedroom. Again, women want adventure in the bedroom as well as emotional fluctuation. You cannot be afraid of offending her when trying to please her sexually. If you happen to spank her ass too hard, she’ll get over it. If anything, she probably secretly enjoyed it because she didn’t expect it.

Men, if you decide to achieve the women of your dreams, you need to fix yourself up. You need to become more interesting and less desperate. Work at it. Become better. Become more attractive. Women want real men, not feminized knock-offs masquerading as men. Embrace your masculinity, enhance your best qualities, and surround them with other attractive personality traits. You WILL get results.


Goodbye To My One-Itis (2015 edition)


Before I post my next entry on what men should and shouldn’t do to attract a woman, I’ve decided to get a bit personal. I have an issue that needs to be taken care of, and I’m going to do it here. I have one-itis for an ex-girlfriend. It’s been haunting me for well over a year, burdening me down, using up my emotional energy, and holding me back from progressing with my romantic life. (It however hasn’t held back my sex life)

Although I’ve stated that men are primarily attracted to women in their immediate vicinity, the thoughts and feelings for an ex can linger on well past their welcome. We’re all human, we all have emotions, and we all enjoy pair-bonding. It’s only natural for things to hurt for a while after a relationship ends. I’ve been the victim of this, and I have reserved tonight to get her out of my system and move on with my life. I’m currently going through a life phase where I’m tying up loose ends, and this is one that I need to get taken care of.

So what am I going to do? I’m going to write her a letter. I’m not going to send it to her, but I need to give a speech to the memory of her, and conclude this chapter of my life for good. Sending it to her is pointless since we’ve been without contact for a long time, and breaking contact has the potential to drag out the memories, the feelings, and postpone the ultimate ending. I’ve told myself that she is no longer worth my energy. If she was worth the energy, she would have returned by now.

After I’ve posted this, I’m going to pour myself a glass of cognac, play a song that reminds me of her, look at her picture one last time, and then abandon it all.

Here’s my letter…


To my dear former companion,

I’ve been thinking of you consistently since you ended the relationship. It’s been occupying my mind heavily and I’ve grown tired of missing you. I’ve grown tired of waiting for the possibility that you’ll contact me again, just like almost all of my ex-girlfriends have done at some point. The problem I have is that we were actually a good match for each other. I’ve never felt so connected emotionally, intuitively, mentally, physically, and sexually to anybody in my life. It’s difficult to let go of such a deep level of connectivity, one that has deeply rooted itself in my brain over such a lengthy span of time.

But here we are today. The flourishing tree has been cut down and discarded. The roots have been left behind, absorbing energy to feed a now lost purpose. It is now time for me to uproot the remainder of my memories of you, throw them aside to be forgotten, and allow nature to rot them out of existence.

You did contact me a couple of times after we had split up. I’m not sure of your purpose, but I did not respond. I was not in the right frame of mind to deal with you. I had mixed emotions about you. I was missing you, sad about the loss of you, and down right fucking angry at you for what you’ve done. I firmly believed that you deserved the consequence of your actions; to wander into the wilderness of boring men, desperate sexual perverts, and the complete absence of a real man within miles of your current position.

While we were together, I made the best of efforts to provide you with the man you required; one that holds enough confidence for the both of us, one that would never bore you, one that would give you great sexual pleasure, and one that was worth missing while absent. I did not shower you with gifts and compliments, but showered you with what your womanly needs asked for. Few men today hold that kind of commitment, and you were very lucky to experience it. However, due to circumstances beyond my control, you decided to eliminate what is likely to be the greatest pair-bonding experience you will ever have. A man who knows how to fulfil the true needs of a woman without the typical side effects of a flawed personality is a gem. I’m certain someone will truly appreciate what you’ve tossed away. After I’m finished writing this letter, I will certainly be placing myself in the path of many women who will fiercely fight each other for your discarded gem.

You had your own flaws, but I always looked past them. You didn’t have a flaw large enough to distract me from all the good I saw in you. You had a stellar sense of humour, a genuine kindness in your soul, the embodiment of a feminine creature, a killer smile, a tender touch, and a body I could caress, stroke, and enjoy for weeks at a time. We had an incredible mutual attraction: a woman seeing a masculine creature, a man seeing a feminine creature, and a common interest in things of this world that we could discuss until our brains would force us to sleep.

What a shame. What a shame to throw it away. What a shame to kill the growth. What a shame to give in to what others though of us; others who had absolutely no business to judge when they couldn’t keep their own shit together. But you’re the one who gave in. My ideal mate would not have given in. My ideal mate would have stuck by me during difficult times and give back just a little bit of the confidence and support which I had always consistently given to them.

You failed that part. You are not my ideal mate. You are no longer worthy of my energy, my attention, my thoughts, my dedication, my love, nor my ability to fulfil your needs. You fucked up, and I only hope that you can cope with losing the strong, loving and dedicated man who would have never given up on you.

Sending my heartfelt goodbye through the mail without a return address,

Desdinova Superstar.

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”
― Sylvia Plath

Nobody Likes It When You Change Your World


Most humans avoid change. We are creatures of habit, and we don’t like it when we’re thrown outside of our comfort zone. We enjoy doing things the same way, the same times, the same places, interacting with the same people. We don’t like changing the way we do things, the time we do them, nor do we like talking to strangers. On the whole, humans can be pretty fucking boring.

However, when we don’t change, we don’t grow as individuals. We’re stuck with our old shitty habits, our shitty attitudes, and the morals that our parents, peers and society have brainwashed us with. We end up becoming products of these influences. For decades, men have been drinking beer and watch sporting events on Sunday. Women have forever been thinking that men have “ulterior motives” when they buy them flowers. We’ve learned all of this from influence.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is step outside the box and think about the things in our lives that influence us. What are our parents really like? Are they nice people? Do their friends and acquaintances like them, or do they simply put up with them? When you step outside the box and REALLY look at what kind of people they are, you may discover some interesting things. They might be genuinely loving and caring people. You may discover that they’re the biggest assholes on the planet. If they weren’t your parents, would you genuinely want to spend time with them? Would they be good friends to you?

If we regularly watch television, read the news or listen to the radio, we’re going to be majorly influenced by the media and society’s opinion. We learn that men are all perverted rapists. Women are still not treated equally. Gay procreation is good for humankind. We get these messages shoved down our throats on a regular basis, and we buy into it all because it’s all groupthink, and groupthink is good. We should think like everybody else because everybody says it’s bad to be an outcast.

Who is everybody, and why is their opinion important?

When you stop doing what everybody else expects of you, you’re going to run into problems. Society won’t want your opinion, you’ll have difficulty making friends, you’ll lose the friends you currently have, and your relatives (especially your parents) will frown upon you. You’re not doing what is expected! You’re causing change in their lives, and as I’ve stated earlier, NOBODY likes change. It’s uncomfortable and it causes conflict. It doesn’t matter what YOU want, what matters is what is expected of you. If you behave a certain way at your job and suddenly decide that you’re not going to let your co-workers walk all over you, they’re going to be on a mission to put a dead stop to your “strange” behaviour. They KNOW what you’re like, they KNOW what your strengths and weaknesses are, and they aren’t going to put up with this new direction you want to go. They’re going to correct you and put you back in your place. Soon enough, you’re going to get asked about your attitude problem in the workplace. If you reach this point, you either have to stop your personal growth, or find a new job.

When you genuinely embrace and incorporate change into your personality, most people are going to notice and many are NOT going to like it. Those who took advantage of you before will no longer be able to do so. Those who have been dictating what the right path is for you are going to tell you to smarten up and quit acting so foolish. Genuine personal change is an uphill battle.

I’ve been through all of it. I’ve lost friends, I’ve screwed up my relationship with my parents, I’ve changed jobs, and I have difficulty connecting with others when it comes to everything that is pop culture and morally correct. However, all the change I’ve made in my life has benefited me greatly. It’s made me more patient and less angry. It’s made me intolerant of those who abuse my good nature. It’s also improved the financial areas of my life, and has helped me find much more happiness. It’s also improved my sex life. Having the freedom to choose what I want regardless of what everyone else thinks of me has changed my world for the better. There’s absolutely nothing better than being free from the judgemental opinions of others.

Personal transformation involves transforming your own world. The people we’re forced to keep in it for various purposes (such as relatives) may go from a consistent presence to a mere occasional visit. They don’t like your new backbone, your new choice of religion, or even your new career path. However, some people will commit to the philosophy of “family always sticks together” and merely tolerate your new choices.

Once you begin making genuine improvements to your world, you’ll find that you’re NEVER done changing it. Perhaps you may go through one or two major improvements in your life that totally fuck up everything around you. As you discover, repair, and improve all areas of your world, you’re going to find MORE little things you need to work on along the way. You may have a hidden psychological problem. You may have a routine you need to alter. You may want to take up a new hobby. You may have to eliminate people from your life that keep you in neutral.

Self-improvement never ends, but embracing the change will be the most rewarding thing you do for yourself.