How To Win Over The Ladies

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It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the general male population is when it comes to women. Even in my younger and more naive days, I was never such an imbecile. Let me give you an example…

On my last birthday, I went out for some drinks with friends. I had a couple of people lined up to drive me home, but one of the women who worked there insisted on being my designated driver. So of course I granted her request and sent all my friends home. Near the end of the night before we left, there was a guy orbiting her. Apparently, he was insisting that she loved him and they were going to spend the night together. As she drove me home, this guy followed her all the way to my house. I was absolutely blown away that any guy would have the audacity to follow a woman like this. My designated driver told me that this was a somewhat regular occurrence in her life. After she dropped me off, the orbiter then followed her all the way across the city back to her house. He apparently came back the next day and sat outside her house in his car. She eventually called the police on him.

There’s enough media exposure about the creepy behaviours of men to inform them that this is not attractive behaviour, but many men still do it. The same goes with sending dick pics through online dating sites.

So why was this bar worker so interested in spending time with me as opposed to the stalker guy? Well, let’s boil it all down. These are all things that make women attracted to a man:

Confidence:
Women absolutely love confident men. If you tell her your sob stories about how mean your ex-girlfriend was to you, you’re not going to win her over. Pity does NOT equal attraction.

To show confidence, you need to approach her without intimidation, but with the simple goal of communicating something interesting. Confident people can strike up conversations with strangers, women included. Confident men also have no problem taking the lead. Ever go out to eat with a woman? They’re terrible decision makers. They tend to go with whatever their emotions are telling them, but their emotions don’t fluctuate quickly enough to make efficient decisions on what to eat from a restaurant menu. If she’s having trouble, kindly get some options from her and pick something for her. YES, CHOOSE WHAT SHE’S EATING. You’re doing the both of you a favour by not wasting time and relieving her of decision making. This is just one example of taking the lead.

Here’s another one… When setting up dates, don’t ask her what she wants to do. You’ll end up going back and forth forever trying to figure out an activity. Think of something to do and take her. If she comes up with an idea for something to do, she’ll let you know. Take her suggestion when she has one.

Positive Attitude: This goes hand-in-hand with confidence. If you view most things in a positive light, you’re going to be enjoyable to be around, and people will gravitate toward you. Ever be around someone who’s always whining or complaining about something? It’s not enjoyable, and it won’t put YOU in a good mood. Personalities are infectious. If you want the other person to be positive toward you, then you must be positive yourself. This doesn’t just go for your interactions with women, it goes for your interactions with EVERYBODY.

Enthusiasm: ALWAYS be just a bit more enthusiastic than her about things. Make her feel like you’re confident and passionate about things.

Kinesthetics: Don’t be afraid to touch her! No, I don’t mean grab her breasts you fucking pig. Acceptable touch is patting her on the shoulder, picking things out of her hair, batting her dangly earrings, putting your hand in the middle of her back to lead her through a doorway, and pretty much anything that isn’t sexual. Do things that you wouldn’t really have a problem doing to a male friend. Escalation to a sexual level (hand holding, kissing) comes after she’s attracted to you.

Humour/Flirting: You need to be playful in order to gain her interest. Treat her like your bratty sister. Throw small paper balls at her. Pinch her cheek and tell her how cute she is in baby talk. Also, don’t forget to pick on yourself a bit. Making jokes about yourself is not only humorous, it’s also extremely confident.

All of this stuff takes practice if you’re not used to it. You NEED to put yourself outside your comfort zone in order to get good at it.

Now, let’s focus on the things you SHOULDN’T do…

First of all, I need to emphasize that men and women are attracted to very different things. Men are primarily attracted to the physical aspects of a woman. Women are primarily attracted to things that cause them emotional fluctuation. Sometimes a man’s looks can trigger it, but more often than not, it will be the man’s personality that will cause her emotions to fluctuate. Thankfully you can train your personality to become more attractive. Women who are born with the “ugly” gene have to work hard to attract men.

So all the things you find attractive about women (their nude sexy parts and outright honesty about engaging in sexual behaviour) are NOT going to have the same effect when you use it on them. Showing them your peener and asking them to fuck is going to get you slapped with a sexual harassment charge.

Here’s some more stuff:

Buying Her Too Much Shit: Flowers, meals, alcohol, candy, jewellery, lingerie, paying their bills, buying things they see in a store, etc, etc, etc. They don’t need all that shit. Buying them all this crap does NOT create attraction. It causes spoilage. What happens when you give a child everything they want? The child starts EXPECTING to get everything they ask for. When that happens, there’s no more excitement when you give them something. Instead, you become a genie who is only called upon when something is needed. The same goes for women. She should be calling upon you because you bring her genuine pleasure with your PERSONALITY.

Worshipping Her: She is not a goddess. She does not hold the key to your heart. She is not the reason for you to live. You should be building your foundation of happiness upon your own interests, goals, and desires. If you build your foundation of happiness upon a woman, your entire life is going to come crashing down if she removes herself from your life. You DO NOT want that. Quit putting her on a pedestal. She’s not a beautiful, precious, breakable gem. She’s only a female human. Treat her as such.

Pestering Her: Bombarding her with text messages and voice mails will piss her off. Repeatedly asking her out is going to annoy her. If she said NO, she means it. If she changes her mind, she’ll let you know. Desperation is NOT an attractive quality to possess.

Also, when you ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing”, you know damn well there’s something wrong. Pestering her to tell you what’s wrong is just going to piss her off. Leaving her alone until she’s ready to tell you will have better results. Of course you’re wondering what the hell is going on in that brain of hers, but annoying her when she’s in a negative state of emotion is just going to keep her there. Women don’t stay in their high levels of emotion for long. Just wait it out until she levels out.

Boring Sex: She isn’t enjoying sex when you primarily focus on getting yourself off. She is not going to simply enjoy the fact that your dick is inside her. For men, sex is the act of repeated penetration until ejaculation. For women, sex is the build up, the anticipation, the flirting, the kissing, the removal of clothing, the atmosphere, the foreplay, the penetration, the orgasm, and the cuddling afterwards. In other words, the man enjoys the highlight while a woman enjoys the entire movie. If you want her to be sexually satisfied (resulting in more sex for you), you need to give her the full adventure and story. Another thing you need to remember is women don’t want the same story every time. They want things to be different sometimes. They want different positions, different locations, different methods of approaching orgasm, fast, slow, hard, soft, and sometimes all of the above. But sometimes they like to hear the same story twice because you almost NEVER do that.

Too Much Romance: A relationship is much like a meal. You have to have substance in order for it to be enjoyable. Romantic gestures are only a spice to make your relationship more pleasing. Women don’t like their relationship to be a plate full of salt and pepper. Keep the romance spontaneous, but infrequent.

These are the basic guidelines to attract a woman and KEEP them attracted. There are lot of little things you can do to make everything more effective, but these are the major factors that will make her decide if she’s into you or not.

So here’s the end tale of the designated driver and the orbiter…. The orbiter who stalked my female friend displayed a huge amount of desperation. Unlike him, I naturally and subconsciously abide by everything I’ve listed above and she naturally gravitates toward me. When you can do all this stuff without even trying, getting dates becomes extremely easy. You end up having women fall into your lap without even trying.

With regards to this particular woman, I’ve placed her on the backburner because she currently has a boyfriend. In order to seduce her, I need to demonstrate a higher value than her boyfriend (which I’ve been consistently working at). She’s already shared some of her issues with him, one being the fact that he’s too terrified of offending her in the bedroom. Again, women want adventure in the bedroom as well as emotional fluctuation. You cannot be afraid of offending her when trying to please her sexually. If you happen to spank her ass too hard, she’ll get over it. If anything, she probably secretly enjoyed it because she didn’t expect it.

Men, if you decide to achieve the women of your dreams, you need to fix yourself up. You need to become more interesting and less desperate. Work at it. Become better. Become more attractive. Women want real men, not feminized knock-offs masquerading as men. Embrace your masculinity, enhance your best qualities, and surround them with other attractive personality traits. You WILL get results.

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Emotional Fluctuation

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Nine years ago, I wrote a post on SoSuave called “The Inner Workings of Women: Emotion”. The post has been recently bumped by newer members. I haven’t read it since I wrote it, so I decided to see what my brain was coming up with back then. Usually when I go back and read my old writings, I think “Damn was I stupid back then”. That’s not the case here. I hit everything dead-on, and I still believe every word I wrote in that post to this day. Do yourself a favour and go read it:

Link Here

Men get their excitement with anything highly positive. Women find excitement with emotional fluctuation.

When you really understand a woman’s needs for emotional fluctuation, her actions begin to make much more sense. Women are masters at things like multitasking, but are dreadfully awful at making decisions on simple things like choosing an item from a restaurant menu. Food generally doesn’t cause women much emotional excitement. That’s why men used to do the woman a favour by taking the lead, and choosing a menu item FOR her. These days it’s considered “impolite” and “presumptuous”. We can thank society for ruining that one, along with a multitude of other things that made relationships much more enjoyable for both sexes.

The amount of emotional fluctuation required to get a woman excited varies. Some women will get excited from just a little bit of teasing, while other women will require full-blown sexual controversy to get their juices flowing. Women who require very little emotional fluctuation are obviously the best choices for a long term relationship. They’re easily satisfied when you throw a little bit of drama their way, and are therefore easy to maintain.

Women who require a LOT of fluctuation are a nightmare if you try to lock them down into a relationship. Sure she’ll be fucking you, but she’ll also flirt with your friends, maintain a circle of male orbiters, fuck another woman’s husband behind your back, and then complain that she can’t find a good man to make her a bride. These women never get their fulfilment of emotional fluctuation, and are always looking to push the envelope a little bit further for the ultimate rush. It’s also not just their romantic relationships that experience turmoil, she will bring this kind of “excitement” to her family, friends, co-workers, and anybody else in her vicinity.

Men are much different when it comes to being happy. They enjoy a steady stream of positive emotion that lasts from a few hours to a few days. However, men make the mistake of trying to impose this type of emotional stability onto their women. Many men will spend money, time and effort trying to keep their women afloat on a steady stream of positive emotion. What inevitably happens is the woman whispers “oh fucking God” under her breath and turns his well-intended actions into something derogatory, mean, or manipulative. It’s not that she doesn’t want to appreciate his efforts to make her happy, it’s that she doesn’t get satisfaction from being consistently happy. Believe it or not, the fact that she’s taking his positive actions as something negative brings her a bit of pleasure. If he’s not going to give her the emotional fluctuation she requires, she’s going to induce it herself to make things more interesting.

A recent post over at Chateau Heartiste (link here) also covered this subject very well, with the exception of one part:

Women have slicker emotional fluidity than men, but their highs aren’t as high nor their lows as low as the passions that men are capable of feeling. Few women will ever feel with the same intensity the exhilarating rush of power that a man feels when he is victorious in struggle.

I disagree with the idea that women cannot experience the same highs and lows as men. In fact, I think women can experience extremes that men generally don’t reach. Women cry when they’re overly happy, cry when they’re overly sad, cry when they’re extremely pissed off. Cry, cry, cry. The only difference is women cannot stand sitting on a consistent flow of one emotion as long as men can. A man riding a flow of emotion can be compared to that of a glider slowly floating back to the ground. A woman experiencing a phase of emotion is more like jumping into the air and landing back on the ground. Hand her a pogo stick and she’ll have fun for hours.

A romantic relationship between a man and a woman requires constant maintenance of individual emotional satisfaction in order for it to be successful. A woman could buy a man a 4×4, and he’ll drive off into the ditch for two days of non-stop fun. The woman requires a bit more variety to reach this level of satisfaction. A man would need to walk into the room and scream “get over here you fucking bitch!” She may initially resist, and he will have to insist with “get over here NOW!” She comes over ready for a fight, and he places his lips forcefully on hers, wrapping his strong arms around her in a bear hug which prevents her from resisting. He then eases up on her lips, caresses her tongue with his, and they go into a sexually passionate kiss. On the way to the bedroom, he whacks her ass as hard as possible, telling her to NEVER resist him again. They proceed to have both passionate and aggressive sex. The woman is now as satisfied as the man who enjoyed two days of 4x4ing.

When a relationship turn sour, two things happen. The man puts more effort into trying to keep her on a steady flow of happiness, and the woman will start more arguments. The relationship drags on until either the man gets sick of never being able to make her 100% happy, or the woman gets sick of being on a constant flow of negative emotion.

A healthy and successful romantic relationship will have the man injecting emotional fluctuation into her life, while the woman will inject positive emotional stability into his. Neither will stray or leave because both are benefiting from each other.

The Manly Way to Break Up With a Woman

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I’ve seen both women and “red pill” men talk about the most respectable, masculine way to break up with a woman. Here is the general check list of how a man is SUPPOSED to end a relationship:

– Call / Message her to set up a date to meet with her
– Wait until the specific date occurs (usually up to a week)
– Tell her face to face that you’re no longer interested
– Let her get upset and cry in front of you

Here’s my question… How is putting in the time and effort to waste upwards of a week manly?

It isn’t.

So where did this idea of the “manly” way to break up come from?

Simple, it came from the women who were on the receiving end of the breakup. When a woman gets dumped, she’ll get together with her girlfriends and have a bitch-fest about the guy in question. They’ll point out every single little flaw and degrade his masculinity for the purpose of comforting the broken-hearted woman. Her friends degrade him and give confirmation that she is much better off without him. This includes the method he used to break up with her.

So what would be the masculine way of breaking up with a woman? A man can be defined by his success, so anything that’s quick, efficient, and effective would qualify as masculine. Here’s an example of how to accomplish all of this when breaking up with a woman:

Him texting her: I’m finding that we aren’t compatible, and think that we should go our separate ways. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. Goodbye.

Her texting him: (irrelevant because they are no longer together)

Him: (Ignores text)

How long did that take? I’d say two minutes maximum, minus waiting for the text message from her which should be ignored. Why should he ignore her? Because there is no reason to hammer away at reasons, failings, problems and anything else once the relationship is dead. Nothing is going to get fixed or repaired, nor will any of this result in the couple returning to their mission of living happily ever after.

Need another good reason to execute a quick and effective breakup? It shouldn’t matter what she thinks of you after you end it. She is no longer relevant in your life, so her opinion of your chosen method of break up is irrelevant. If your method is quick and effective, then that’s all you need in order to move on to your next prospect.

Here’s a third reason which I’ve experienced personally… None of your shit gets wrecked. I made the mistake of breaking up with a woman face-to-face in my house, and she proceeded to destroy my living room. After an experience like that, I decided that the “manly” way to break up with a woman is perhaps the WORST method in getting the job done. There’s no reason to have my personal possessions destroyed simply because I’m being honest and setting her free to find someone who may cherish her just the way she is (no matter how crazy and emotionally unstable she may be).

Breaking up with her in a public location isn’t going to make it any better. Some women enjoy creating a scene in public in order to get attention from the bystanders. While she’s creating a scene, you may get approached by white nights who see it as their mission to slay any man who hurts a woman’s feelings. You are also not immune to her smashing the shit out of your car in the parking lot. Most women will NOT travel any significant distance to destroy your property, so breaking up with her using alternate means of communication makes sense.

Protect yourself, protect your assets, use your time wisely, and always have the goal to progress in your journeys through life. THAT is how a man should conduct his life. THAT is the manly way to do anything.

Alpha Male Lessons from Elvis

This is my favourite scene from the movie “Jailhouse Rock”. Elvis plays a character who just basically does whatever the hell he wants.

The emotional rollercoaster he sends this chick on is absolutely wild. But that’s what women respond to… emotional fluctuation. Not only that, he does whatever the hell he wants and doesn’t worry about the repercussions. He’s fully confident in everything he does. The person who wrote this scene hit everything dead on about how to jumpstart a woman’s attraction.

And that my friends is how to make a woman attracted… Send her on a wild emotional rollercoaster ride, and she’ll be analyzing it over and over again until she realizes she’s in love.