Mary Lambert: Bottom of the Barrel Trash

To tie in with my last entry about self-improvement, I’m going to cover the topic of people who are not only avoiding self-improvement, but those who are intentionally back-pedalling away from it.

Meet Mary Lambert:


This woman from Seattle has been getting quite a bit of attention mainly from overweight women, and it’s easy to see why. She’s extremely outspoken about her “flaws” and doesn’t apologize for them. She’s a poster child for the “This is who I am, and if you don’t like it then fuck you” movement.

Here’s one of her songs:

If you don’t watch the video, I’ll forgive you. It’s not worth watching, and the comments mainly consist of women touting the “you go girl” mantra, and the occasional white knight cooing her supporters (whom he will never seduce.)

However, I AM going to analyze the lyrics…

I’ve got bi-polar disorder
My shit’s not in order
I’m overweight
I’m always late
I’ve got too many things to say
I rock mom jeans, cat earrings
Extrapolate my feelings
My family is dysfunctional
But we have a good time killing each other

Whenever any of this stuff comes up when I’m dating a woman, I take it as a red flag. Throw all of this into one woman, and she’s disqualified from getting my attention and/or affection.

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

She’s completely missed the point here. What you learn (or should be learning) when you’re young is to be the best person you can be. I’ve personally spent a great deal of time becoming a better person all around; better personality, more confident, more independent, more financially stable, more physically in shape, and have spent a great amount of time successfully achieving my goals. I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished over the years, and I think I have every right to be. Now, what kind of a woman should I get to compliment my life? A lazy fat chick who’s got a big mouth? Does that compliment my achievements? No.

There are times I’ve wondered if all my self-improvement has been worth it. I’ve put in the effort (and continue to do so) in becoming the best person I can be, but the women out there are busy becoming the worst they can be and are PROUD of their non-achievements. I’ve heard so many women ask “where are all the good men?” Here’s a news flash ladies: all the good men don’t want low quality women.

Let’s continue with the crappy song…

I can’t think straight, I’m so gay
Sometimes I cry a whole day
I care a lot, use an analog clock
And never know when to stop
And I’m passive, aggressive
I’m scared of the dark and the dentist
I love my butt and won’t shut up
And I never really grew up

She’s now thrown in the subject of homosexuality. I firmly believe that there are two types of homosexuals: the kind who are born gay, and the kind who choose to be gay. I can’t help but wonder if she’s gay by choice. If anything, she has no choice. No good man in his right mind would want to mate with her, and she isn’t going to want some low-life beta loser, so she’s stuck with other women whom have also been abandoned by men. Women are good at inflicting emotional fluctuation upon each other, so why not date them? (Incidently, this is why there are so many “bisexual” women in existence.)

The one thing she forgot to mention in this song is the giant permanent bruise on her arm. Holy fuck is that thing ever ugly!

If Mary Lambert (or any of her supporters) read this page, the first thing out of their mouths are going to be “Haterz gonna hate.” This has nothing to do with hating a person, it has to do with the things they stand for. Anything that goes against natural gender roles, natural attraction mechanisms, and natural human reproduction is dangerous to us as a species. Taking away attraction and sexual reproduction will leave our species with dying numbers. Everything Mary Lambert stands for encourages human extinction. Is this the kind of role model today’s women need? One that endangers the death of humankind?

I can use a total of three words to summarize Mary Lambert:


How is this appealing to anybody? I’ll tell you one thing for certain, it is NOT appealing to men like myself. Here are three words describing what a man wants:

Thin, Feminine, kind-hearted

For any men reading, just think about those three words. Think of a pretty woman and attach those words to her. Those three words conjure up a lot of good imagery. Those three words stimulate the imagination of men. Those three words encourage men to participate in human reproduction.

WOMEN… Quit embracing the “I’m a piece of shit and proud of it” attitude. Fix yourself up into someone that’s worth loving; someone that’s worth cherishing; someone that worth keeping.


Curves and Tattoos

I really dislike the pro-fat propaganda that gets touted on a regular basis. It usually comes in the form of a statement such as “I’m proud of my curves”. First of all, the word “curves” has been distorted by women and used to replace the word “fat”. One of the curviest women I dated was 120 lbs. She had a fantastically sexy back that curved inward, and then back out at her ass. THAT is what curves are supposed to be. Curves are NOT over-exaggerated wrinkles and folds.

Fat women are subjected to a number of health problems. They have an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, and those folds of skin can gather bacteria, get infected and become rancid. Many times, the poor ol’ thyroid takes the blame for making women fat. My own personal observation with EVERY fat woman I’ve known is poor diet and lack of exercise. If you eat pasta and sit at an office desk all day, you’re gonna get fat.

Anyway, let’s analyze this image that showed up in my Facebook feed…


For now, let’s focus on just the appearance of the woman. We’ll get to the accompanying message in a moment.

– She is covered in stupid looking tattoos
– She has the “I’m a bitch” face on
– She’s squishing her fat into her body with a corset
– Her makeup makes her a viable replacement for any member of the band KISS

For comparison, I searched the internet for a picture of a woman who I wouldn’t necessarily say is “hot”, but not homely. This was a much more difficult task than I anticipated, but I came up with this:


This woman looks like she’s hovering around the age of expiry, and her clothing is quite drab. But I would consider her WAY more attractive than the “bitch face” I posted above. Here’s my observations about her:

– She has no tattoos
– She is not overweight
– She has little-to-no makeup on
– She is smiling

This is all extremely simple stuff here, and she’s much more attractive for it. Everybody is more attractive when they take care of their appearance. Also, everybody is more attractive when they smile.

Now, let’s go back to “bitch face” and her message of me being small minded for thinking she’s fat. Shoving your belief that you’re attractive down my throat will NOT make me find you attractive. Insulting me for finding you unattractive is not going to change my mind. Deep down, you know you are NOT attractive, or you wouldn’t have to justify that you are. Keep telling yourself that you’re an attractive, high quality woman. You will continue to get used for sex and tossed away while quality men pass you by and look for a REAL quality woman.

While we’re at it, let’s touch on another issue that bothers the hell out of me…


I’m not an advocate of women getting tattoos. I generally like my women to be feminine and pretty, and the female body is like a masterful piece of physical artwork. Tattoos are not feminine nor pretty, and putting them on the artful feminine body is like spray painting graffiti on an otherwise aesthetically pleasing landscape.


“This is how I express myself. If you don’t like how I express myself, then go fuck yourself!”

I’ve seen some extremely ugly tattoos on otherwise pretty women. When they’ve got shit sprawled across their chest, it turns me right off. If I wanted to fuck “artwork”, I’d buy a cheap thrift store picture and jack off to that.

The worst tatoo I’ve seen is this:


I can’t fuck you from behind when I’m looking into a cat’s eyes. If I wanted to fuck a cat, I would fuck a cat.

Whenever I date a woman who has absolutely no tattoos on her body, I compliment her on it and let her know how much I appreciate it. Hopefully it’s at least somewhat effective in eliminating any thoughts she possibly had about getting a tattoo.

So here’s my plea to the women out there… I don’t wanna see you “express” yourself by putting crap on your body. If you need to display your artwork and have me appreciate it, put it in a frame, hang it on the wall, and invite me over to look at it. If you want to send a message in japanese, find someone who understands it. If you want me to love your body for it’s natural perfections (and yes, the imperfections as well), then don’t vandalize it with garbage.

So why do women get tattoos?

They get them because of the emotional influx they create. Shopping for a tattoo is a similar experience to buying a new pair of shoes. It’s mostly fashion shopping. However, the tattoo gives one thing that shoes generally don’t… Pleasurable pain. The pain they experience while getting a tattoo is on par with scratching or biting during sex. At least bite marks, scratches, and hickeys heal and disappear after a few days. Tattoos leave permanent unsightly garbage on the body.